New Health Plan, Life at Mom's, More Spiritual Lessons

Fun card from my friend Jocelyn, my friends have been WONDERFUL!!

I've been home, and when I say home, I mean my Mom's house, from the hospital for almost two weeks now. It's been an interesting transition because a) I'm not in my own home b) I haven't lived with another person in a decade c) It's been longer than that since I've lived with my Mom d) We've had Home Health Care people (nurses, physical therapist, occupational therapist, etc) in and out all week e) and my biggest accomplishment was I learned how to shower myself again (which I'm proud of).

My book stash

All in all, stressful, but BRILLIANT at the same time. Today is my 31st birthday and I'm so grateful for all the lessons I've learned this past year. I've been in the hospital three times; I spent the best weekend of my life at Kripalu with my mentor Gabrielle Bernstein and met my Spirit Junkie Sisters, who have supported me all the way. I also had the worst vacation of my life with my Spring trip to Oregon; dropped out of a Vipassana meditation retreat, got rained on at the beach, and lost in Portland. Visited the Harry Potter theme park, yipee! I suddenly have a new family; soon to be step Mom, 5 grown "brothers and sisters" and 2 young ones, and numerous uncles, aunts, etc. My Dad is happier than I've ever seen him. My cancer is dissolving and recent events provided me with a new Soul Sister. Overall, I am grateful and looking forward to homemade manicotti and some delicious chocolate cake concoction from  Eden Alley. I also hope to venture out once or twice this weekend; one to spent a lovey Sunday afternoon at a local ice cream parlour, Murray's with my new family. 

Delicious green smoothie, I call it the Kindness Smoothie (spinach, mint, cacao nibs, bee pollen, honey, banana, and a probiotic)

Having my Mom as a caretaker, I have a pretty dedicated health plan, which already is working. My blood pressure, which has been low for several months, is now normal. I can already do many things for myself that shock the physical/occupational therapists. One of the things on my list, CoQ10 has a testimonial from a guy who had an infraction rate (it's how much blood your heart is pumping through your veins) of 22% (mine is 20% and normal is 55-75%) and in six months went up to 50%! There are also similar stories of people doing this with something call Limu Juice, which has a special seaweed. In orange juice, it's not bad. I'm doing both, plus Hawthorn Berry for my heart. 

Written in a card by one of my Spirit Junkie Sisters

We've also started QiGong exercises, a Chinese technique that moves the Chi and has healed millions for the last thousand years or so. Very simple, slow exercises. I also have arm exercises to build up my strength and muscle and will be starting a simple yoga in the next week. I am also doing a healing technique called the Healing codes, which is similar to EFT in some ways, but more about shifting energy. I do it in combination to the Violet Flame, a healing prayer/meditation. 

Re-reading Spirit Junkie for the Wild Sisterhood book club

I'm excited to be healing, and look forward to having a fantastic birthday, and incredible summer at Kripalu. I also have done some writing, and have three pieces coming out in three different publications over the next month!! I will post more details when I have them. 

Also, don't forget I have two other blogs, Radical Self Love and Enlightened by Books. 

Gratitude and Love,

Shanna

10 Day Lifestyle Cleanse: Day 1

Last night I cried tears of Gratitude all evening. Tuesday has been the most blessed day. I work up at 5am, which at first I thought was crazy, until I remember I went to bed at 9pm, so still 8 hours. I spent time working on some blog kinks, and in checking my email saw Danielle LaPorte's fire sale. She's retiring her Spark Kit, with the new release of her book the Firestarter sessions coming out this Spring. The Spark Kit is a life/finance/branding/inspiration that is over 200+ pages, with hours of video and audio and much more. It's normally $150. Her fire sale meant that if you pre-ordered the new book, you could do a love donation for the Spark kit. Well, you could only pay through Paypal, and when I checked my balance I had $6.88 in it. I took a pause and said, what the heck? I paid $5 for this amazing program.

Shortly thereafter I received requests, RECEIVED, as in they contacted me(!) from two publishers asking me to review something. One I emailed with a quick response of YES! We then emailed back and forth for the next hour. She emailed me wanting to know if I wanted to review more books. Um, yes. So she sent me the review list of upcoming titles, and she's from fucking TOR books! For those not familiar, TOR is one of the top publishing companies, known for their sci-fi/fantasy books. Obviously they publish other things because the book she contacted me about is historical fiction. Anyway, looked at the titles picked six and she said "great!". Yes, I'm basically getting 7 free books, plus I'm now on a list so whenever they update, I'll get to pick more. The other email I haven't responded to yet, but yet another free book, plus the opportunity to review more. So blessed!

All through the day I kept getting emails for these free programs, 30 Day Reinvention, some relationship program, and a few free workbooks. I signed up for all of it and now have tons of inspiration for 2012. The 30 day program suggested getting a buddy, so through the Facebook page I met a wonderful gal whose I spend quite a bit of time chatting with on Facebook. We will be keeping in touch daily to meet our goals.

So then I check my email and Gabrielle Bernstein had emailed me and comped her All Access Club, which I think was over $100 for a year. So you get free lectures, including this Friday's New Years lecture, videos, goodies, etc. I am so moved. So I sent her an email back about how much she has inspired me and contributed to my healing and next thing I know, she sends me an email and comps me for her summer Kripalu Loveatarian weekend workshop. I cried happy tears. I called both my parents, crying.

I just feel like everything is happening in such a beautiful way. I had my 24 hour creative push a few days ago, got some good sleep, and then the Universe sends me all this love. Tomorrow I plan on starting on some of those workbooks, creating my 2012 vision board, and really getting down with my cleanse.

So I may not have been perfect on Day 1. I ate well, in fact, this morning I made more almond milk, made pecan milk, walnut milk, chocolate walnut milk and....strawberry macadamia nut milk. I am loving my nut milk bag!

I finished my third book for 2012. My goal is 52; so far so good. I'll start another one tomorrow.

I will end my evening with prayer and visualization. Tomorrow I plan to start fresh with a new book at breakfast, MSM/lemon water, raw cereal, then brushing/flossing, coffee enema, skin brushing and shower. Then I'm going to get some stuff from Trader Joes and Whole Foods. I plan on getting Spiritual in the afternoon, might even break out the yoga mat. I'll be sure to meditate/pray/visualize again. So most of my list will get done, if not all.

Feeling so much love and gratitude

~ingSpiration

Health Update

I cannot express how grateful I am to be home from the hospital. It's a beautiful thing to be in your own space. I've had some amazing helpers bring me food, play with Triton, and just send the most loving notes. My Mom has been incredible, even when I get cranky with her, keeping things clean, taking me places, etc. So how am I doing? Here are a few little tidbits:

• I did gain 7lbs in this last week since leaving the hospital, so we up'd my meds and I've started to lose that again. I can definitely tell it's working. Don't fret if we go out and I disappear for awhile; I didn't get lost in the bathroom, I'm just peeing like the Energizer Bunny....it just keeps going and going and going....
• The tumors in my armpits appear to be smaller, so yipee for that!
• I went to Trader Joes on my own today; drove myself, parked, walked the entire store on my own, carries the bags to my car, into the house, and unloaded all on my own. This is HUGE. I NEVER would have been able to do that a week ago. I'm getting stronger, walking better and have more energy
• I'm still sleeping bizarrely.  I sleep in the late afternoon/evening, then get up, and sometimes am up for hours in the night, and then sleep some more. I think I'm still screwed up from being in the hospital.
• I've been going visualization exercises to get my body to function properly. I already know this helped dissipate the tumor in m lung pressing on my trachea because I haven't felt it in months. I have no doubt I can use this to heal the rest of my body.
• I am going three times a week to do the MOPA machine, which sends electronic pulses through your body, killing microbes, which then kills cancer cells. I'm going to say this is contributing to my improved health. 
• My Cancer Protocols have changed some. I dropped the Budwig Diet, am focusing on the Cellect and working on creative ways to eat it. We just started doing some juicing, I'm doing the B17 (cancer killing vitamin) and several supplements for the heart including Niacin. 
• I haven't been doing the Vibe machine because stairs are still an issue, but we are looking to move it and that should help. I heard a few stories recently of people who shrank tumors within weeks by doing this, so I'm getting on it!
• Overall I am improving and looking forward to going to the Harry Potter theme park at the end of October! I KNOW I will be healed to the point that I will be able to fully appreciate the experience. 

I want to take a moment to address something. I received an email (which I will respond to soon!) that suggested I had made a mistake going holistic and that I needed to give it up and go for the chemo to save myself. While I appreciate that this person is concerned for my welfare, I still believe that using chemicals to "heal" is a poor idea. I choose to address this because I think that she is not alone in wondering why I don't just do chemo. A few things a) At this particular moment my heart is not strong enough for treatment, we'd need to wait to build it up b) I have never been told that I could be "cured" by chemo, that is it a life extension, and likely cancer would return and I would have to go through this process, maybe several times c) I've seen what it does to people, and I'm not a fan d) My main issue with western medicine is that the doctors don't encourage you to make any life changes when diagnosed with cancer, in fact, they spend a lot of time making sure nothing has to change. Cancer came for a reason, and by not changing any aspect of my life, even if the chemo eliminate the tumors, there is a reason people always get them back. By doing things holistically I'm not only protecting my body long term from chemicals and not experiencing the harsh side effects of the drugs, but if forces me to change my lifestyle. I've had to improve my diet, face my fears, get in touch with my emotions, and I've learned how to be happy and am on the way to becoming truly joyful. I do not believe this would have happened if I had chosen the other path. For those concerned about stats, just because you don't hear about people healing themselves naturally, doesn't mean they aren't doing it. Big Pharma spends a lot of time shutting people up, many doctors who heal patients with natural medicines have to move to Europe or Mexico. I personally know people who have healed themselves, and follow blogs of several who have either a) completely healed or b) are healing from natural remedies. People are often talked into treatments out of fear, and I've always stuck to my beliefs. I appreciate any concern that certain community members may have, but know this, I WILL heal my body, and when I do I will truly be healed. No damaged nerves from chemo, no fretting over when things will return and if I'll survive the next round of treatment. I will be healthy and happy and well balanced and better off than I started. And this, is why I've chosen to go holistic. Feel free to email me if you wish to discuss this further. 

I'll wrap this with a little Love and Gratitude:

• I've been loving listening to holiday music this week, especially the fun songs like Rocking Around the Christmas Tree and Jingle Bells and also loving some of the rarer songs such as Carol of the Bells
• Conveniently Natural has delicious vegan food, home delivered, and I've enjoyed it thoroughly this week. Gratitude to Andrea for bringing me some and to the owners for dropping off some free samples. What a beautiful community we belong to!
• Trader Joes quiche is delicous!
• I am grateful for the comfort of my water bed, love it, always
• Gabby Bernstein's new book Spirit Junkie comes out in two weeks! Plus, Tori Amos has a new album out the next week AND I have a gift certificate for Best Buy from my Birthday, so freebie for me!
• I am grateful for the nicer weather and opportunity to chill on my back porch, watching Triton play in his pool, and chase squirrels in the yard
• She & Him are releasing a Christmas Album this year; I think I'm in geek heaven
• On Thursday's blog you'll see my pics for Fall TV; there is a TV show based on fairytales. So excited for that one. 
• I love sleeping with stuffed animals. I'll be sleeping with them when I'm married. They make me feel good. 
• Did I mention HARRY POTTER THEME PARK IN OCTOBER!!! Yeah, just a tad bit excited
• The symphony is doing Pops in the Park this weekend. Anyone want to go crazy early and get a close parking spot, have a picnic, chit chat and listen to some kickass music from Star Wars and Pirates of the Carribean? So much fun!
• Love naps, so refreshing.
• I am grateful for my parents and everything they do to support me. Love you Mom and Dad

Love and Gratitude,

Shanna

Spirit Junkie Meditations: A Review

My guru and friend Gabby Bernstein has recently released a meditation CD. I downloaded it a few weeks ago, prior to my Kripalu Spirit Junkie Adventure. These 12 tracks are fairly short, 6-10 minutes long, which is great for people who claim they have little time to meditate. So far I think that "The Bridge" and "Spirit Junkie" are my favorite meditations. I admit that my Ego has prevented me from taking the time to do the "Forgiveness" and "Cord-Cutting" meditations. My goal for this next week is to work on a least one Forgiveness letter, and do the meditations to release, then burn the letter and send it to the Universe. This is such a powerful technique, one which I've done before, and I believe the meditations will be a great aid. I highly recommend downloading her new album and get your meditation on!

1. Chapter One: Honoring Yourself Meditation
2. Witnessing Meditation
3. De-Special Meditation
4. Asking Meditation
5. Forgiveness Meditation
6. Relationship Meditation
7. Great Rays Meditation
8. Accepting Your Invitation
9. The Bridge Meditation
10. Releasing Meditation
11. Cord-Cutting Meditation
12. Spirit Junkie Meditation

Coming in September is her new book, Spirit Junkie! I am so excited! This will be a great follow up to her first book, Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness. Part memoir, part guide, Spirit Junkie is a must have. Pre-order from Amazon today!

Check out my other blogs on Gabrielle Bernstein here.  

Have you read anything by Gabby? Do you meditate? What are your favorite meditations? 

50 Ways to Lift Your Spirits

1. Make a gratitude list
2. Bake cookies; share them with a friend
3. Take a detox bath: 1 cup epsom salts, 1/4 cup baking soda, your favorite essential oil, soak up the happy
4. Play with a dog, if you don't have one, borrow one from a friend
5. Dance it out to your favorite song
6. Go to the mall and get a free makeover at one of the department store makeover counters
7. Read the blog Hyperbole and a Half
8. Watch Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase in "Foul Play". 
9. Read "Good Omens" by Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman
10. Get out your markers and create your vacation vision board. Post pictures of your fantasy destination, write mini-paragraphs of what you did, and post it where you can look at it daily
11. Buy yourself some flowers
12. Take a walk in the park
13. Drink a green smoothie
14. Download Gabby Bernstein's "Dialed Up" lecture and get inspired
15. Write yourself a love letter
16. Watch the "New Adventures of Old Christine" in reruns on Lifetime
17. Enroll in Gala Darlings "Radical Self Love" Bootcamp
18. Sing in the shower
19. Get out your list of things you've always wanted to try, but never get around to, pick one, and DO IT!
20. Paint your toenails
21. Call a friend you haven't spoken to in months and catch up
22. Order some Indian carryout, curl up with a stuffed animal, and watch your favorite Julia Roberts movie
23. Go to your local art museum and explore; make up stories about the characters in paintings and laugh out loud
24. Meditate
25. Go to a yoga class or do a DVD at home
26. Go to your favorite shoe store, try on the most outrageous shoes, take pictures, and post them on your Facebook, Twitter, blog, etc.
27. Check out Brad Yates EFT videos on You Tube and get happy
28. Go to your favorite restaurant and go crazy; get the fizzy drink, appetizer, your favorite dish and dessert.
29. Write affirmations in lipstick on your bathroom mirror
30. Have a media black out day
31. Write a forgiveness letter to someone, meditate on releasing yourself from that issue, burn the letter and send the ashes out into the Universe
32. Create an inspirational playlist and put it on your MP3 player
33. Have some friends over for a potluck
34. Watch a favorite movie from your childhood
35. Get a book of Mad Libs and go crazy with your BFF
36. Take yourself out on a date; go to dinner, a movie, buy some new shoes, pamper yourself
37. Donate to a good cause, even if it's only $5 bucks
38. Bounce on a rebounder
39. Buy a puzzle book and challenge yourself
40. Schedule a Reiki session
41. Write a letter to the Universe
42. Try out a new recipe
43. Go to your favorite coffee shop, order your favorite drink, and write in your journal
44. Give yourself a hug
45. Go to the farmers market and get some fresh veggies, bread, eggs, etc Thank your farmers for all they do. 
46. Smile at yourself everytime you look in the mirror
47. Buy a pair of sexy underwear for your eyes only
48. Read poetry by e e cummings
49. Get a massage
50. Look in a mirror, tell yourself "I love you" and believe it

 What other ideas do you have to lift your spirits?

My Kripalu Spirit Junkie Adventure

This past weekend I went to a beautiful yoga and health resort in the Berkshires of Massachusetts called Kripalu. I went to see ~ing diva Gabrielle Bernstein. I had applied for a scholarship earlier this summer, and low and behold, they selected me! My seminar and room and board were paid in full, and Gabby even helped with the flight. Now, if you've been following along, just two weeks ago I was told to prepare for hospice care, I could barely move, my body was shutting down, etc. So how on earth did I have the energy to maneuver my way through four airports and a large resort? Willpower baby! Since my Cancer Update post, I've started a new program (which I describe here) that has given me energy, more strength, and better breathing ability. I also knew that I NEEDED this experience. Part of my challenge with healing myself is that there has always been this little piece (ok, so it was GIANT in the beginning) that wants to die. I needed this experience to help motivate me and eliminate that piece. Right before I left, my Mom and her friend Kelly brought over a beautiful shaman named Rainbow Moon who helped me shift that piece. I resisted like crazy at first, but we did some powerful work, learning to connect and identify with the inner spirit self (a major theme to this workshop) and to silence the ego. The persona I created for my Spirit is a cross between Xena Warrior Princess and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She's a kick ass courageous warrior goddess who loves life and is a powerful healer. My Ego, computer dork. Who do you think is going to win in a showdown? Shanna Warrior Princess that's who!

So I had this understanding of my ~ing and Ego before going to the workshop. The workshop was called "Spirit Junkie" partially in honor of Gabby's new book out next month. She also recently released a Spirit Junkie meditation album, which has some great, and short, meditations. You can download from her site here. Anyway, I had an amazing weekend. We had orientation with a Q&A on Friday night, workshop most of Saturday, with time for other activities such as yoga, swimming, hiking (none of which I did) for those that could. I spent my free time journaling. Sunday morning we did a lot of group prayer, danced things out, and learned how to pass the lessons on to others. I met so many beautiful people who I hope to develop even stronger relationships with.

Some of the lessons I took from this experience:

1. The ~Ing and the Ego. Learn to recognize when your Ego is giving you shit, feel it, then let your ~ing guide you to a better place. Your Ego is the one that tells you that you can't do something, you are ugly, things are not going to work out, etc. Your ~ing supports your decisions, lets you know what a beautiful person you are. Which voice would you rather listen to? Remember, the computer dork is never going to be stronger than the Warrior Goddess. 
2. De-Special Relationships. Sometimes we make someone more important than us. It could be a boyfriend, your kids, a celebrity. Remember, we are all one, all equal. No one is better than you, and you are not better than anyone else. If you are making someone more special than you, sit down and find out why? Then find that strength in yourself. And realize that we are all human, with human limitations, even the most perfect seeming people have their issues and imperfections. You are a beautiful spirit; don't forget that. 
3. The F-Word. Forgiveness is such an important topic. I blogged about it previously here. I learned this weekend though that forgiveness is an ongoing process. There are always new issues that come up. Gabby has a great forgiveness meditation. I recommend writing a letter to the person or situation you need to forgive. Get nasty, let it all out. Then, finish the letter by forgiving the person/situation. I would then do the Forgiveness meditation from Gabby's Spirit Junkie Meditation CD, and then the Cord-Cutting Meditation. I suggest cord-cutting, because even after forgiving, we can still be "attached" to that person. This cuts any negative binds. Then, I would burn the letter and send the ashes off into the Universe. Forgiveness is the first step in any form of healing and growth. 

Overall, an incredible experience. I am re-motivated to work on my Ego and ~Ing, and now I have a posse of Spirit Junkie ladies to aid me with this. I am grateful to have had this experience and look forward to my continued growth and emotional, physical, and spiritual healing.

The Loveatarian Diet

Add More ~Ing To Your Life

Have you ever read something that changed your life? Gabrielle Bernstein's "Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness" is just that kind of book. Over the last year I've posted many excerpts and exercises from this book. I highly recommend checking this book out and I invite you to revisit my previous posts on each chapter.

• Feel~ings
• Forgiveness
• Balanc~ing
• Mirror~ing
• Releas~ing Romantic Illusions
• Climb~ing
• Stretch~ing
• Shift~ing and Focus~ing
• Know~ing he Universe Has Your Back

Know~ing the Universe Has Your Back

Manifesting with the Universe takes faith and a knowing that your desires will be answered. However, we often block ourselves with doubt, and confuse wishing for something, with knowing that you will receive it. In Gabriel Bernstein's book Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness, she shares with us her tools for getting in touch with the Universe. First, pray or send your request to the Universe (God, Goddess, Buddha, Jesus, etc.). Let it go. Know, that the Universe will provide. Then listen for the signs. Meditation helps with this. Through meditation you can visualize your request, feel the feeling of having your prayer answered, then be silent, and listen to the voice of the Universe. The Universe always has our back, we just don't always pay attention.

The key is to not attempt to control the path you may have to take to reach your outcome. If you are controlling the situation, you are not allowing the Universe to help you. Gabby has a few suggestions on strengthening your prayers. Create a "belief box", put your prayers in it as a sign that you are letting them go. Create an attitude of Gratitude. By recognizing the amazing things we already have, it puts us in alignment to attract new desires to us. Pray for others. Send your love to the people in your life, world crisis such as Japan, etc. The more you give, the more you will receive. The more you practice these tools, the more you will reap and soon you will know that the Universe has your back.

Cheryl Richardson's book The Unmistakable Touch of Grace touches on this as well. She includes a prayer to the Universe in her book. I recently used it to ask for guidance on healing my body completely, all physical aspects, and after a few moments of meditation, I heard a voice in my head provide me with a list of tools. I must say that if I had just sat down and written a list, this would not have been the list. The list contained almost 50 items, all of which I've been guided to do simultaneously and immediately. The Universe also told me that I am on the last leg of this journey, I simple need to focus.

Set time aside each day to send your prayer requests to the Universe and meditate for at least 15 minutes. You will feel a difference almost immediately. Peace, joy and loving support are worth 20 minutes of your day, don't you think?

Shift~ing and Focus~ing

In Gabrielle Bernstein's book Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness she discusses making that mental shift; creating your own personal statement of who you are shifting into. First, you have to rethink about yourself. Do you tell yourself that you are fat, worthless, unemployable, etc. Shift those thoughts! You have a beautiful body, you bring so much into the world and have many skills an employer would find valuable. Change the story of your life to who you want to be, and believe it! Take time to meditate on what you want your story to be. Are there others that are influencing your current story? Make sure to to include that as well. For example if you feel your family doesn't support you, change the story to "My family supports me in all I do." The more you believe and focus on your new story, it will become a part of you. My personal shift statement, "I am a healthy vibrant woman. I earn a comfortable living sharing my healing knowledge with the world." After you create your statement, focus on making it reality. Share shift statement with family and friends, post it where you can see it, read it to yourself daily, create a Vision Board to help you visualize. Incorporate your shift statement into your meditation practice. The Law of Attraction tells us to not only think it, but feel it. It is the feeling that transforms and creates the reality. The more positive our thoughts and feelings, the better our experience will be. You have the power to transform your reality simply by focusing your thoughts and feelings on your desires.

Stretch~ing

There comes a point where we start to really feel good.  All the tools and tricks to suppress the Ego and get in touch with our ~ing or inner guidance system are working and life is grand.  So what generally happens? We feel so good that we stop doing our daily gratitude, we don't think to check in with our feelings, offer forgiveness, use EFT to release blockages, make our love lists, because hey, we're happy, who needs to do that. Unfortunately, that's using when the Ego finds a way to creep back in and start filling us with fear and doubt again.

It's during this time that we need to Stretch our self-help muscles and really focus on not only staying in this positive state, but stretching ourselves beyond imagining, to an even more enlightened state. This is the time to rev up your practice. Start by re-evaluating your feelings, make a new forgiveness list, get in balance, do some mirroring exercises, release those romantic illusions, climb to higher thoughts, break out your journal and use it as a tool to process. So plump up that meditation mat, get out the rebounder, shout out your affirmations, write love notes to yourself in bright red lipstick in the mirror, laugh out loud, give yourself a hug, and pray.

Climb~ing

Let's face it, we all have negative and dis-empowering thoughts sometimes. The key is to recognize those thought when they arise and shift them. For example, when your Ego starts to tell you that you can never make a shift in your diet, you will fail if you even bother to try, climb out of that chaos and tell yourself, "I am beautiful, dedicated and I deserve to be healthy and choose to eat a diet that benefits my body." Sure, at first your Ego will pop up and say "yeah right" but that's where Gabby Bernstein's climbing technique comes in. Using the 3 R's, Recognize, Record, Release, you can start climbing to better thoughts. I have started keeping a journal of my thoughts, and when I recognize a negative thought, I record it and then use my arsenal of tools to release that thought and create a more positive thought.  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a great way to release those negative feelings blocking us from climbing. Daily meditation is another good tool, and Gabby suggests literally climbing, maybe using a wall at a rec center or going hiking, and during this physical experience, focus each upward motion on higher and higher thoughts.  Here's a VLOG she did on the climbing chapter of her book Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness.

Releasing Romantic Illusions

I've discussed Gabrielle Bernstein's book Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness in previous posts. She has a social networking site for women called Her Future, where each month we have been focusing on a different chapter in her book. I've posted previously on Feel~ings, Forgiveness, Balancing and Mirroring, and this month's chapter focuses on relationships.

First, you need to honor your relationship with self. If you are not truly in love with yourself, you cannot possibly share love with another. A Course in Miracles (preface) states "...We seek in others what is wanting in ourselves. We 'love' another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world. There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything. Only minds can really join, and whom God has joined no man can put asunder." Essentially you must be love, otherwise, you will constantly be seeking people to fill your gaps, and that is not healthy or truly spiritual love. This is true of all relationships, not just romantic relationships. Spend time loving yourself, you are worth it.

Gabrielle also discusses "special relationships" in this chapter. Often times we place more importance on romantic relationships, than we do on friendships or even family. This imbalance can cause challenges in our romantic relationship because we are not in balance. By making that relationship more "special" than the others, we are essentially putting pressure on that person to fill our needs in a way that no one person can. Our relationship with self, friends, and family are equally important, and we need to release the need to make one person or relationship more special or important than another. Take time to find the love in all your relationships, and see how each and every person is special to you in their own way. You will strengthen all your relationships by experiencing them equally.

Releasing Exercises:
1. Make a list of your meaningful relationships, past and present. Write the story of each one, how it started/ended/the experience/etc. Release any nastiness that your ego is holding onto.
2. Make a list of how your partner makes you feel joy; or if single, how you would want a partner to make you feel joy.
3. Make a Love List and focus on the areas in your life where love shines. Focus on at least one thing that allows love to shine in your life each day.

The more you release the fears of the ego, the more love you will feel and the more you will attract loving healthy relationships into your life. When you feel ready to add a romantic relationship to your life, make a list of qualities you are looking for in a partner. Be specific, what is his personality like? His hobbies, skills, interests? His Spiritual beliefs? Does he love to travel and in what fashion? Write the story of your perfect partner, but keep in mind that creating a clone of you does not leave room for personal growth and will likely be boring very quickly.  Write your perfect partner story, and read it to yourself each day. Then share it with everyone you can. People have manifested beautiful relationships using this method. Write the story as if he is already there, for example, "My partner is full of gratitude, loves to garden, and is an expect on roses." Write in present tense, the Universe only understands NOW! I believe you could use this technique to attract friendships as well. Love yourself and the rest will follow.

Love and Gratitude


Shanna

Existing's Tricky Healing Workbook: Week 1

Today's Archangel Oracle Card: You Know What to Do. Archangel Uriel: "Trust your inner knowledge, and act upon it without delay. You are far wiser than you realize, and your inner wisdom has already given you the answers you seek. Embrace this knowledge, and trust it. If you're doubtful, ask me to give you clear signs to validate your thoughts and ideas. I can also help you put your ideas into action, and make decisions about the next steps to take. Just ask me. And then be willing to work with me by taking action."

Doreen Virtue Archangel Oracle Cards

Some days I feel alot like this polar bear, hanging on for dear life. However, as Archangel Uriel stated, we often know what we need, we just don't always know how to get there. There are a lot of amazing workbooks out there with exercises, affirmations and guidance on how we can manifest the life we desire. Each week I'm going to post some exercises, tools and tips from some of my mentors. I encourage you to invest in a journal, and take the time to do these exercises each week. I also would love to hear how you are doing, what discoveries you make about yourself. We are a community here, so post your experiences and let's grow and manifest together!

Workbook Exercises: Week 1

Affirmation: "In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I believe in a power far greater than I am that flows through me every moment of every day. I open myself to the wisdom within, knowing that there is only One intelligence in this Universe. Out of this One intelligence comes all the answers, all the solutions, all the healings, all the new creations. I trust this Power and Intelligence, knowing that whatever I need to know is revealed to me, and that whatever I need comes to me in the right time, space and sequence. All is well in my world."
--Louise Hay

Exploration Question: "What is an inherited belief you have about money that inhibits your experience of abundance? What is something you would like to believe about money that would have you aware of abundance? Share both of these beliefs with someone in your life"
--Abounding River Workbook, Cafe Gratitude

Art Project: Break out the crayons, stickers, etc. Visualize yourself, how do you see yourself? Draw you incredibleness and see what that "inner billboard" looks like. This tool will reveal a lot about your feelings of self-worth.
--Kris Carr

Exercise: Write "I Should" on the top of a piece of paper (or in your journal) and make a list of 5-6 things to finish that sentence. Read each one aloud to yourself, and ask yourself "why?" Should is an obligation and often times means being wrong. Reread the list, one item at a time, except this time begin each sentence with "If I really wanted to, I could _____________" Then ask yourself "Why haven't I".  You may have some fears come up after doing this. Focus on letting go of the "shoulds" this week and focus on things that empower you.
--Louise Hay

Exercise: Focus on your Feelings. What emotions are coming up for you? Experience those negative emotions, than re-think them. Ask yourself, "What are the beliefs about myself that are holding me back?" Then put on an upbeat CD and dance it out! Release those negative beliefs and refocus on gratitude. 
--Gabrielle Bernstein

Your Homework
1. Purchase a journal or notebook
2. Say your affirmation each day. If you can say it to yourself in the mirror, it will be more powerful.
3. Work through these four exercises this week. Journal your thoughts, what comes up for you? If you need any releasing tools, let me know.
4. Take time each day to list at least 5 things you are grateful for; morning and night is really empowering.

Let me know how you do with the exercises!

Love and Gratitude,

Shanna ♥

My Inspirational Bookshelf

This week I wanted to share a list of wonderful books that have inspired me and influenced my healing process.  Most of these wonderful books would apply to anyone in the process of healing themselves physically, emotionally and spiritually.  If you've read any of these books, please share your thoughts!

1. The Crazy Sexy Cancer Series. Valentine's Day 2003 Kris Carr received the news she had Stage IV Epitheliodid Hemangioendothelioma, a rare cancer that encompassed most of her body. Only a handful of oncologists in the country have any knowledge of this disease and there is no medical cure at this time. Kris decided to take matters into her own hands and became a health expert. She read books on the raw food diet, macrobiotics, yoga, meditation, herbal treatments, etc. She formed her own Cancer Posse and started CrazySexyLife. The first book has a list of great tips for those going through cancer, and those assisting friends/family with cancer. Her second book is a journal, with exercises to explore the emotional side of the disease. In January she will release Crazy Sexy Diet, filled with health tips every cancer patient should know about. Kris is a strong woman, living with cancer, and getting healthy every day. I strongly recommend reading her powerful books.




2. The Sara Triology by Esther Hicks. The Law of Attraction is a powerful Universal tool, but some of the information out there can get confusing at time. Esther Hicks created this wonderful series, written for young adults, that explains the Law in a simple manner. We follow the life of Sara, an unhappy young girl living in a small town, who meets a talking Owl that changes everything. It's a wonderful, easy read, and a great way to learn the laws of the Universe.




3. Detox Your World by Shazzie. This incredible book takes you through the process of detoxing physically and emotionally the toxins and blockages that prevent you from achieving optimal health. She provides many tools for detoxing, including details on skin brushing, deep breathing techniques, colonics, etc. She has a detox diet program that gently allows people at all levels to release toxins from the body and shift their perspective. This is a unique read, a gem that I reference reguarly.
 



4. Superfoods by David Wolfe. I wrote a three part post earlier this summer on Superfoods, and later turned it into a lens on Squidoo.  This amazing book has changed my life. I had issues with anemia, hypoglycemia, hormone imbalance, fatigue and of course cancer. Since I started using Superfoods in my smoothies, my energy level has improved (with indicates a balance in blood sugar and iron), my periods have normalized and I just feel better. I can't say enough about this book.





5. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. It took me a long time to read this book, I resisted for quite awhile. I simply did not want to deal with my feelings. However, I finally did read it and I'm glad I did. This incredible woman healed her breast cancer doing mirror work and affirmations. Her incredible story inspires and her exercises leave no room for denial. Everyone should own a copy of this book.




6. Knockout by Suzanne Somers. In this book Suzanne shares a story of a near-death experience, which nearly became fatal, because of the practices of the medical industry. Misdiagnosed, pumped full of drugs that never should of mixed, ignored and poorly treated, Ms. Somers is lucky to be alive. After this experience Somers interviewed a slew of medical doctors who were curing patients of cancer, without chemotherapy. Doctors who were listening to their patients, looking outside the drug industry, and some who were legally persucuted for it. If you have any doubts regarding how powerful big Pharm is, read this book.
 



7. Greens for Life by Victoria Boutenko. This book breaks down the science behind green smoothies and shows you just how important greens are for our diet. Written in an easy to understand manner, and with an index of recipes. the Boutenko family have long been leaders in the raw and health industries.




8. Anastasia by Vladimir Megre. I don't even know how to describe this series. These books are powerful, moving, magical, astonishing, breaktaking, I could go on. You will be moved.




9. Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness by Gabrielle Bernstein. I've mentioned this book on several books, but it's worth mentioning again. Bernstein takes concepts from "A Course in Miracles" and breaks them down for the 20-30 somethings in a way that we will connect with.  Each chapter covers a specific topic, from Forgiveness, Mirroring, Releasing Romantic Illusions, etc. She provides exercises to do over a 30-day period to change your life. You can read more about my impressions and how this book has influenced me on my Squidoo Lens: http://www.squidoo.com/add-more-ing-to-your-life-a-hip-guide-to-happiness




10. Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God. This gorgeous book by poet Rilke will move your soul. Split into three parts, these poems are questions, observations, and spiritual hugs to the Universe. "I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world. I may not complete this last one but I give myself to it. I circle around God, around the primordial tower. I've been circling for thousands of years and I still don't know: am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?" Beautiful.




What's on your Inspirational Bookshelf?

The Power of Positive Posting

Cyber bullying is a hot topic this week with the suicide of Tyler Clementi.  Gabrielle Bernstein encouraged everyone in her VLOG this week to join her in 30 Days of Positive Posting. I've decided to take up the challenge and invite you to do the same.



Remember the old playground adage, "sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me."? Well that's a load of crap. Words have power and what you say and how you say something to a person can impact them for the rest of their life. It's easy to get lost in judgement, judging others Spiritual practices, what someone eats, wears, etc. I'm almost 30 years old and I still catch myself sometimes judging a stranger's outfit or gossiping. It's extremely dis empowering to everyone involved.

I encourage you, next time you catch yourself judging someone, to silently bless them instead. Feel how powerful that positive energy is. Take time to smile at strangers, post inspirational messages on Facebook and Twitter.  Acknowledge friends and family for how amazing they are. Did someone say or suggest something that impacted you positively lately? Let them know! Be grateful and others will follow your lead. Resist the temptation to be dragged down into a negative spiral. I guarantee the more you practice love and gratitude, bless people, eliminate gossip and focus on the positive, the easier it will get and the lighter you will feel. Go out and inspire the world I love and bless you and am grateful for each and everyone of you!

Mirroring: Reflect on the Inner You

Remember that scene in The Neverending Story, when Atreyu seeks out the Southern Oracle to find out why Fantasia is being destroyed by The Nothing and the Childlike Empress is dying?  He has to go through three gates, the Spinx, The Magic Mirror Gate and then the final gate. The Mirror Gate is perceived to be the most challenging because it "mirrors" a person's true self. 

"I've known travelers who...run away at the sight of the monster grinning out of the mirror at them.  Other's appear to have seen something even more horrible, but had the courage to go through.  What some saw was not so frightening, but it still cost everyone of them an inner struggle.  Nothing I can say would apply to all.  It's a different experience each time." -The Neverending Story by Michael Ende

Is there someone in your life that bugs the crap out of you, whose behavior gets under your skin?  Often times people who bother us the most, are a mirror for something we don't love about ourselves.  For example, I have this friend who I see a few times a year for a lunch date.  For the most part, I enjoy spending time with him.  He's intelligent, unique, curious, vegetarian, music lover, into philosophy, etc.  However, I always end our bi-annual luncheons with the desire to strangle him.  Why?  There are a few aspects of his personality that really bug me.  The main one being, this attitude he seems to have that he is so different, that no one could possibly understand him.  He tries so hard to be different from everyone else that he struggles to really connect with anyone and often prefers to be alone. 

How does this relate to me?  As a child I prided myself on my differences; feminist, atheist, vegetarian, I read tarot cards on the playground, I've never chewed a stick of gum, been drunk, experimented with drugs, and as far as I know I am the only Shanna Sandmoen the world has ever seen.  I thrived on my differences, and in reality maybe a part of myself still does.  In looking at myself through him, I see that I might have used those differences as an excuse for why I didn't always connect with people and why I tended to have a new BFF every year of my life.  I also realized that this is a cover for my own insecurities, and seeing this trait in someone else bugged me so much because it's an aspect of myself I do not love. 

We all have experiences such as this, next time you encounter of think of that person that irritates you, look in the mirror.  Meditate and let your inner guidance system lead you to the truth.  By unveiling this trait in yourself, you can take the steps to heal this part of yourself, and accept and love yourself completely.  Mirror exercises are very powerful, but like Atreyu on his quest, we don't always see what we think we are going to see. 

Gabrielle Bernstein, in her book Add More ~Ing To Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness, states, "Mirrors don't just reflect the things we need to change.  They also reflect the beauty within us.  The beauty you see in the world is the beauty you see in yourself."

Take time this month to reflect on your relationships in the "mirror" and rethink some aspects of your self.  You may release a blockage, that will allow to attract more abundance into your life, a new relationship, or a better relationship with yourself.



(Watch minutes 4-7 to see Atreyu face himself in the Mirror Gate)

Forgiveness

"There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love." Bryant H. McGill

Forgiveness is one of the most important tools on your healing journey and also one of the most difficult.  As humans we tend to hold on to our anger, grip it tightly like a security blanket, preventing us from moving forward.  I've tackled forgiveness in the past.  I did a lot of work in the early part of my healing process forgiving the men who had assaulted and sexually harassed me.  Very difficult work, but I am no longer tied to them or those experiences.

"When you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.  Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." Catherine Ponder

Recently I have refocused on forgiveness.  There are some relationships in my life that are not as strong as I would like, and I have realized that forgiveness is a great way to release some of the tensions in those relationships, or perhaps release my need for them, if that is the case.  A great tool is to go through your phone list, Facebook friends, email contacts, etc. and write down the name of anyone that you might have a sore spot with.  You may love your best friend dearly, but have you truly forgiven her for ruining your favorite pair of shoes?  Have you forgiven your father for being a drunk throughout your elementary school years?  You may feel like you have "moved on" but until you actually forgive, you are still tied to that person or situation.  Somethings are very simple to heal, and by looking at the situation from a new perspective, and saying "I forgive and release you" while visualizing you and that person surrounded by healing while light, can be a great release.  Some things are not that simple, so I've included some tools on shifting the bigger issues in your life. 

First, I did EFT to release any blockages I might have towards forgiving.  This is a great video by Brad Yates that you can tap along to.



Next, I wrote a detailed letter to that person.  I stated, sometimes in very angry detail, everything that upset me about the situation, and then I found a place of gratitude.  I found something that I learned from that situation that I could write briefly about, than I ended with "I forgive you and I release you."  I took a moment to contemplate, than got out the matches, took the letter outside, and lit it up, releasing the ashes into the universe.

Meditate, Meditate, Meditate.  There are several great meditations out there.  Gabrielle Bernstein Forgiveness Meditation is the one I have been using recently.  You could also just put some ambient music on, and visualize yourself and the other person.  See yourselves very clearly.  Imagine a black cord connecting you two, this is the issue that connects you.  See white shimmering light emanating from your heart to that person's, channeling white healing loving light between the two of you.  Then see Archangel Michael, with his powerful sword, cut through the black cord connecting the two of you.  Then mentally say "I forgive and release you."  This is a simple meditation that can heal so many wounds. 



This process will really open you up and clear a lot of anger and resentment.  You should always start by forgiving yourself.  It's so important to be in an open and loving state with ourselves, and if we can't forgive and love ourselves, can we truly love and forgive others?  I would also follow up the meditation with a short gratitude exercise to bring the love back in. 

Forgiveness is a process, and like Feel~ings this is a daily examination of self, and as you shift more and more towards a state of love and gratitude, this process will become easier and start to feel good.

If you have some time, check out this lecture Gabrielle Bernstein gave recently on Forgiveness ♥




medium from gabriellebernstein on Vimeo.



By the way, after doing ONE forgiveness session this week, my Mother commented that she thought the tumor in my neck had shrunk.  How powerful is that? ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Love List

Crazy Sexy Cancer survivor Kris Carr recently started a fabulous trend at her blog CrazySexyLife, the Love List. Love Lists are just an acknowledgement of things we adore.  You can put a list together anytime, keep adding to the one you've got, shout out a new love daily, whatever rocks your boat.  It's a sweet reminder of the beautiful loving world we live in. Check out Kris' lists (which she will be posting every Wednesday) here:
Love List: Chandeliers & Airstreams
Love List: Flea Markets & Snapshots

You can also check out Gala Darling's version Things I Love Thursday and follow the conversation on Twitter #lovelist. 

Here's my Love List for this lovely Tuesday in August

Triton
I LOVE spending time with my wonderful puppy dog, going to the park, walking down the Trolley Trail, watching him play with his artichoke, car rides where both his head AND tail hang out the window, random people taking pictures of him on the plaza, the busboy at Eden's Alley asking about him every time I go in, taking him to eat on the patio at restaurants, chasing squirrels, giving him baths, swimming at the dog park, cuddling on the sofa, he's my number one :)







 Superfoods smoothies, shiny clean house, blogging, werewolves, musicals, meditation, raw cacao, meeting lovely new lady friends, Doreen Virtue, the rose garden at Loose Park, Ben&Jerry's Smores, coconut oil, zinc, Twitter, Reiki, being an ~ing girl, rebounder, affirmations, gratitude, forgiveness, teddy bears, LOVE LISTS, meetup.com, Her Future




LOVE THIS SONG!!

Squidoo, Warehouse 13, Eureka, Kris Carr, snail mail, meeting my Spirit Guides, Thai food, Laura Bell Bundy, Pandora, mini-golf, pecans, journaling, dancing it out, running barefoot in the grass, smiling, laughing, Naughty Monkey shoes, dolphins, ocean sounds

Jane Austen spinoff books Mr. Darcy's Daughters
This oil spill benefit zazzle store Art for Oil Spill
Gabrielle Bernstein Videos Gabrielle Bernstein on Vimeo
This beautiful gal's blog My Hip Guide to Happiness

The Magical, Mystical Unicorn

HUGS!!!

What's on your Love List?