Sunday, May 30, 2010

Balloons, Manicotti, and Juice Feasting

My diet has hit a steady decline during the last few months of winter, the lack of produce I'm sure a major factor. Suddenly, my diet consists of cheese, pasta, bread and ice cream, oh my! I am so grateful for the return of the farmer's market; this week's bounty consisted of fresh greens, herbs, carrots, radishes, califlower, strawberries and the best pecans known to man. Eating fabulous salads has definately been an improvement, but I still feel like I'm a bit toxic. My skin has been breaking out, my skin has gotten oozy and gross (eczema flaring), the tumor in my left armpit has been cranky and talking up a storm. Time for a juice fast/feast. Usually I only last about a day or two before I cave, but this time I'm determined to really get clean. In the past I've used the "everything but the kitchen sink" method for juicing, but this time I've got a book with recipes that I plan on utilizing to increase the tastyness factor. My initial goal is 3 days, but I think that 10 would be perfect!

Last night my Dad came over and I made manicotti, my last hurrah before the juice fast begins. We had a lovely salad with ingrediants from the market. I also snacked on some sugar snap peas, so good!

Triton greeting his "Grandpa" before dinner

Yummy Salad


After dinner we headed out to Olathe, KS for the Annual Hot Air Balloon Festival. We had a few directional challenges, but managed to make it there in time to see several balloons lift off into the sky.

As the night progressed we watched several more balloons, starting from the moment they took the folded up balloon from the van, unfolding it, blowing it up, and flying! Towards dusk they had a total of 10 balloons that hung out and just glowed in the park. One balloon (sadly we didn't see it during the daylight) had a tail hanging from the back and the front had the head of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland!! Gorgeous night and brillant time overall.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Existing's Tricky

"existing's tricky: but to live's a gift" This quote by poet e e cummings epitomizes my comprehension of life as I know it. I spent a good part of my youth existing, day in, day out, merely a shelf of a human being. I registered zilch on the emotional spectrum and actually spent several years in my early twenties cutting myself in an attempt to feel anything at all. Then came cancer, an answer to my prayers, or so I thought. A guilt-free way out of my existence. Seeing the fear and pain in my normally happy-go-lucky father made me reconsider this thing we call life. Could I truly grab life by the hand and really live? The answer to that question took five years for me to process.

I refused the standard chemotherapy and radiation treatments recommended by my oncologist and dedicated myself to healing physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually through natural means. I experimented with a 100% raw vegan diet, meditated, learned EFT, colonics, read books on healing, etc. I knew that I did not want to merely exist in this world, I needed to learn to truly live or I would simply "let go" of this life.

A year ago I had to make a decision, life or die. My body started shutting down, the cancer had infiltrated several of my organs and spread throughout my lymphatic system. the time had come to LIVE. I took time off from work (I am so blessed that my Dad is my boss!) and I've spent the past year experiencing life anad exploring what it means to live.

Now I work part-time and am determined to continue the next phase of my life journey. Through this blog I hope to gain the focus I need to start my own Happiness Project, heal my cancer, be the best doggie mommy I can be, and write my first novel. I am grateful for each day and know that "existing's tricky: but to live's a gift." Namaste

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