"There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love." Bryant H. McGill
Forgiveness is one of the most important tools on your healing journey and also one of the most difficult. As humans we tend to hold on to our anger, grip it tightly like a security blanket, preventing us from moving forward. I've tackled forgiveness in the past. I did a lot of work in the early part of my healing process forgiving the men who had assaulted and sexually harassed me. Very difficult work, but I am no longer tied to them or those experiences.
"When you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." Catherine Ponder
Recently I have refocused on forgiveness. There are some relationships in my life that are not as strong as I would like, and I have realized that forgiveness is a great way to release some of the tensions in those relationships, or perhaps release my need for them, if that is the case. A great tool is to go through your phone list, Facebook friends, email contacts, etc. and write down the name of anyone that you might have a sore spot with. You may love your best friend dearly, but have you truly forgiven her for ruining your favorite pair of shoes? Have you forgiven your father for being a drunk throughout your elementary school years? You may feel like you have "moved on" but until you actually forgive, you are still tied to that person or situation. Somethings are very simple to heal, and by looking at the situation from a new perspective, and saying "I forgive and release you" while visualizing you and that person surrounded by healing while light, can be a great release. Some things are not that simple, so I've included some tools on shifting the bigger issues in your life.
First, I did EFT to release any blockages I might have towards forgiving. This is a great video by Brad Yates that you can tap along to.
Next, I wrote a detailed letter to that person. I stated, sometimes in very angry detail, everything that upset me about the situation, and then I found a place of gratitude. I found something that I learned from that situation that I could write briefly about, than I ended with "I forgive you and I release you." I took a moment to contemplate, than got out the matches, took the letter outside, and lit it up, releasing the ashes into the universe.
Meditate, Meditate, Meditate. There are several great meditations out there. Gabrielle Bernstein Forgiveness Meditation is the one I have been using recently. You could also just put some ambient music on, and visualize yourself and the other person. See yourselves very clearly. Imagine a black cord connecting you two, this is the issue that connects you. See white shimmering light emanating from your heart to that person's, channeling white healing loving light between the two of you. Then see Archangel Michael, with his powerful sword, cut through the black cord connecting the two of you. Then mentally say "I forgive and release you." This is a simple meditation that can heal so many wounds.
This process will really open you up and clear a lot of anger and resentment. You should always start by forgiving yourself. It's so important to be in an open and loving state with ourselves, and if we can't forgive and love ourselves, can we truly love and forgive others? I would also follow up the meditation with a short gratitude exercise to bring the love back in.
Forgiveness is a process, and like Feel~ings this is a daily examination of self, and as you shift more and more towards a state of love and gratitude, this process will become easier and start to feel good.
If you have some time, check out this lecture Gabrielle Bernstein gave recently on Forgiveness ♥
medium from gabriellebernstein on Vimeo.
By the way, after doing ONE forgiveness session this week, my Mother commented that she thought the tumor in my neck had shrunk. How powerful is that? ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺