My body has transitioned so much these past eight years. It's gone from a Women's size 18 to emancipated. Pictures speak volumes, and I want to share with you how my body has changed. Saying that, in a few months, when my arms gain muscle, my hair regrows, and I get my sexy back on, I'll show you those as well. ;)
This is the beginning, right around diagnosis time. Me at my heaviest. But good grief look at that beautiful hair!!
This is from 2006, about two years into my diagnosis. I would say I was a size 12-14 here. Look at my gorgeous hair!! Ok, not going to cry.
This is from 2009, I was getting quite skinny. Check me out in my skinny jeans!
Beginning of 2011. Still plenty of hair, but I notice now that my arms are starting to get pretty small.
When I saw this I cried. I didn't know who is was. I asked my Dad "who is that emancipated creature on my camera, where are the pictures we took of me?" It took me several minutes to realize, that IS me. These were taken just this week on the day I came home from the hospital. You can see the water weight bloating my stomach, but my god, my arms!! And my face! If you had a closer look you would see I've lost a great deal of hair, and am getting a bald spot. This is where I'm at now.
As my heart heals, the liquid will release. As we start my arm exercises, fill me with TONS of nutrition, and heal my heart, My body will return. I would like to look like I did in 2009. I feel like it's my healthiest look. Next week I will explain Congestive Heart Failure, how I have developed a condition completely separate from cancer, what we're doing about it, and life at my Mom's house. This July I'm going to Kripalu for Gabby Bernstein's Loveatarian workshop, and I plan on having a lovely head of hair, strong arms, strong heart, and much smaller tummy.
I think it takes courage to share photos like this. I hope your body will heal and transform you from emaciated back to normal.
ReplyDeleteShanna, your bravery and courage shine through every smile of yours on this page. I'm sending you lots of positive, healing energy for your body and your heart. <3
ReplyDeleteI wrote to you on Her Future, but you are awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou're a better person on the inside than you were a few years ago, and that is more important than how you look on the outside. I loved getting to see you two weeks ago and can't wait to see you again, my friend! Much love, Trina
ReplyDeleteYou are a lovely person Shanna. Always remember our bodies are just a shell of who we are. It's what's inside that matters. I've followed your journey through Briana. I admire your strength and your courage. You are constant in my thoughts and my prayers.
ReplyDeleteShanna, you are a beautiful person. When I was going through chemo, sometimes I would see myself in the mirror at night, and the person I saw looking back at me scared me! Bald head, sunken eyes. I thought I looked like a corpse. But I could still see ME in there. And Shanna is still there in that skinny body:) A catterpillar must melt away before it can emerge as a butterfly. Sending love to you, sweet girl.
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www.perksofcancer.com
Thank you for all your beautiful and inspiring comments, it means A LOT. Trina, THANK YOU, I feel like a better person. Monica, you have an amazing daughter and she gave me the gift of a lifetime with her surprise visit and everything she did for my family. She has grown so much since 7th grade, I couldn't be prouder and will be thrilled to have her home!
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