Add More ~Ing To Your Life

Have you ever read something that changed your life? Gabrielle Bernstein's "Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness" is just that kind of book. Over the last year I've posted many excerpts and exercises from this book. I highly recommend checking this book out and I invite you to revisit my previous posts on each chapter.

• Feel~ings
• Forgiveness
• Balanc~ing
• Mirror~ing
• Releas~ing Romantic Illusions
• Climb~ing
• Stretch~ing
• Shift~ing and Focus~ing
• Know~ing he Universe Has Your Back

Stretch~ing

There comes a point where we start to really feel good.  All the tools and tricks to suppress the Ego and get in touch with our ~ing or inner guidance system are working and life is grand.  So what generally happens? We feel so good that we stop doing our daily gratitude, we don't think to check in with our feelings, offer forgiveness, use EFT to release blockages, make our love lists, because hey, we're happy, who needs to do that. Unfortunately, that's using when the Ego finds a way to creep back in and start filling us with fear and doubt again.

It's during this time that we need to Stretch our self-help muscles and really focus on not only staying in this positive state, but stretching ourselves beyond imagining, to an even more enlightened state. This is the time to rev up your practice. Start by re-evaluating your feelings, make a new forgiveness list, get in balance, do some mirroring exercises, release those romantic illusions, climb to higher thoughts, break out your journal and use it as a tool to process. So plump up that meditation mat, get out the rebounder, shout out your affirmations, write love notes to yourself in bright red lipstick in the mirror, laugh out loud, give yourself a hug, and pray.

Releasing Romantic Illusions

I've discussed Gabrielle Bernstein's book Add More ~Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness in previous posts. She has a social networking site for women called Her Future, where each month we have been focusing on a different chapter in her book. I've posted previously on Feel~ings, Forgiveness, Balancing and Mirroring, and this month's chapter focuses on relationships.

First, you need to honor your relationship with self. If you are not truly in love with yourself, you cannot possibly share love with another. A Course in Miracles (preface) states "...We seek in others what is wanting in ourselves. We 'love' another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world. There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything. Only minds can really join, and whom God has joined no man can put asunder." Essentially you must be love, otherwise, you will constantly be seeking people to fill your gaps, and that is not healthy or truly spiritual love. This is true of all relationships, not just romantic relationships. Spend time loving yourself, you are worth it.

Gabrielle also discusses "special relationships" in this chapter. Often times we place more importance on romantic relationships, than we do on friendships or even family. This imbalance can cause challenges in our romantic relationship because we are not in balance. By making that relationship more "special" than the others, we are essentially putting pressure on that person to fill our needs in a way that no one person can. Our relationship with self, friends, and family are equally important, and we need to release the need to make one person or relationship more special or important than another. Take time to find the love in all your relationships, and see how each and every person is special to you in their own way. You will strengthen all your relationships by experiencing them equally.

Releasing Exercises:
1. Make a list of your meaningful relationships, past and present. Write the story of each one, how it started/ended/the experience/etc. Release any nastiness that your ego is holding onto.
2. Make a list of how your partner makes you feel joy; or if single, how you would want a partner to make you feel joy.
3. Make a Love List and focus on the areas in your life where love shines. Focus on at least one thing that allows love to shine in your life each day.

The more you release the fears of the ego, the more love you will feel and the more you will attract loving healthy relationships into your life. When you feel ready to add a romantic relationship to your life, make a list of qualities you are looking for in a partner. Be specific, what is his personality like? His hobbies, skills, interests? His Spiritual beliefs? Does he love to travel and in what fashion? Write the story of your perfect partner, but keep in mind that creating a clone of you does not leave room for personal growth and will likely be boring very quickly.  Write your perfect partner story, and read it to yourself each day. Then share it with everyone you can. People have manifested beautiful relationships using this method. Write the story as if he is already there, for example, "My partner is full of gratitude, loves to garden, and is an expect on roses." Write in present tense, the Universe only understands NOW! I believe you could use this technique to attract friendships as well. Love yourself and the rest will follow.

Love and Gratitude


Shanna