New Health Plan, Life at Mom's, More Spiritual Lessons

Fun card from my friend Jocelyn, my friends have been WONDERFUL!!

I've been home, and when I say home, I mean my Mom's house, from the hospital for almost two weeks now. It's been an interesting transition because a) I'm not in my own home b) I haven't lived with another person in a decade c) It's been longer than that since I've lived with my Mom d) We've had Home Health Care people (nurses, physical therapist, occupational therapist, etc) in and out all week e) and my biggest accomplishment was I learned how to shower myself again (which I'm proud of).

My book stash

All in all, stressful, but BRILLIANT at the same time. Today is my 31st birthday and I'm so grateful for all the lessons I've learned this past year. I've been in the hospital three times; I spent the best weekend of my life at Kripalu with my mentor Gabrielle Bernstein and met my Spirit Junkie Sisters, who have supported me all the way. I also had the worst vacation of my life with my Spring trip to Oregon; dropped out of a Vipassana meditation retreat, got rained on at the beach, and lost in Portland. Visited the Harry Potter theme park, yipee! I suddenly have a new family; soon to be step Mom, 5 grown "brothers and sisters" and 2 young ones, and numerous uncles, aunts, etc. My Dad is happier than I've ever seen him. My cancer is dissolving and recent events provided me with a new Soul Sister. Overall, I am grateful and looking forward to homemade manicotti and some delicious chocolate cake concoction from  Eden Alley. I also hope to venture out once or twice this weekend; one to spent a lovey Sunday afternoon at a local ice cream parlour, Murray's with my new family. 

Delicious green smoothie, I call it the Kindness Smoothie (spinach, mint, cacao nibs, bee pollen, honey, banana, and a probiotic)

Having my Mom as a caretaker, I have a pretty dedicated health plan, which already is working. My blood pressure, which has been low for several months, is now normal. I can already do many things for myself that shock the physical/occupational therapists. One of the things on my list, CoQ10 has a testimonial from a guy who had an infraction rate (it's how much blood your heart is pumping through your veins) of 22% (mine is 20% and normal is 55-75%) and in six months went up to 50%! There are also similar stories of people doing this with something call Limu Juice, which has a special seaweed. In orange juice, it's not bad. I'm doing both, plus Hawthorn Berry for my heart. 

Written in a card by one of my Spirit Junkie Sisters

We've also started QiGong exercises, a Chinese technique that moves the Chi and has healed millions for the last thousand years or so. Very simple, slow exercises. I also have arm exercises to build up my strength and muscle and will be starting a simple yoga in the next week. I am also doing a healing technique called the Healing codes, which is similar to EFT in some ways, but more about shifting energy. I do it in combination to the Violet Flame, a healing prayer/meditation. 

Re-reading Spirit Junkie for the Wild Sisterhood book club

I'm excited to be healing, and look forward to having a fantastic birthday, and incredible summer at Kripalu. I also have done some writing, and have three pieces coming out in three different publications over the next month!! I will post more details when I have them. 

Also, don't forget I have two other blogs, Radical Self Love and Enlightened by Books. 

Gratitude and Love,

Shanna

My Kripalu Spirit Junkie Adventure

This past weekend I went to a beautiful yoga and health resort in the Berkshires of Massachusetts called Kripalu. I went to see ~ing diva Gabrielle Bernstein. I had applied for a scholarship earlier this summer, and low and behold, they selected me! My seminar and room and board were paid in full, and Gabby even helped with the flight. Now, if you've been following along, just two weeks ago I was told to prepare for hospice care, I could barely move, my body was shutting down, etc. So how on earth did I have the energy to maneuver my way through four airports and a large resort? Willpower baby! Since my Cancer Update post, I've started a new program (which I describe here) that has given me energy, more strength, and better breathing ability. I also knew that I NEEDED this experience. Part of my challenge with healing myself is that there has always been this little piece (ok, so it was GIANT in the beginning) that wants to die. I needed this experience to help motivate me and eliminate that piece. Right before I left, my Mom and her friend Kelly brought over a beautiful shaman named Rainbow Moon who helped me shift that piece. I resisted like crazy at first, but we did some powerful work, learning to connect and identify with the inner spirit self (a major theme to this workshop) and to silence the ego. The persona I created for my Spirit is a cross between Xena Warrior Princess and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She's a kick ass courageous warrior goddess who loves life and is a powerful healer. My Ego, computer dork. Who do you think is going to win in a showdown? Shanna Warrior Princess that's who!

So I had this understanding of my ~ing and Ego before going to the workshop. The workshop was called "Spirit Junkie" partially in honor of Gabby's new book out next month. She also recently released a Spirit Junkie meditation album, which has some great, and short, meditations. You can download from her site here. Anyway, I had an amazing weekend. We had orientation with a Q&A on Friday night, workshop most of Saturday, with time for other activities such as yoga, swimming, hiking (none of which I did) for those that could. I spent my free time journaling. Sunday morning we did a lot of group prayer, danced things out, and learned how to pass the lessons on to others. I met so many beautiful people who I hope to develop even stronger relationships with.

Some of the lessons I took from this experience:

1. The ~Ing and the Ego. Learn to recognize when your Ego is giving you shit, feel it, then let your ~ing guide you to a better place. Your Ego is the one that tells you that you can't do something, you are ugly, things are not going to work out, etc. Your ~ing supports your decisions, lets you know what a beautiful person you are. Which voice would you rather listen to? Remember, the computer dork is never going to be stronger than the Warrior Goddess. 
2. De-Special Relationships. Sometimes we make someone more important than us. It could be a boyfriend, your kids, a celebrity. Remember, we are all one, all equal. No one is better than you, and you are not better than anyone else. If you are making someone more special than you, sit down and find out why? Then find that strength in yourself. And realize that we are all human, with human limitations, even the most perfect seeming people have their issues and imperfections. You are a beautiful spirit; don't forget that. 
3. The F-Word. Forgiveness is such an important topic. I blogged about it previously here. I learned this weekend though that forgiveness is an ongoing process. There are always new issues that come up. Gabby has a great forgiveness meditation. I recommend writing a letter to the person or situation you need to forgive. Get nasty, let it all out. Then, finish the letter by forgiving the person/situation. I would then do the Forgiveness meditation from Gabby's Spirit Junkie Meditation CD, and then the Cord-Cutting Meditation. I suggest cord-cutting, because even after forgiving, we can still be "attached" to that person. This cuts any negative binds. Then, I would burn the letter and send the ashes off into the Universe. Forgiveness is the first step in any form of healing and growth. 

Overall, an incredible experience. I am re-motivated to work on my Ego and ~Ing, and now I have a posse of Spirit Junkie ladies to aid me with this. I am grateful to have had this experience and look forward to my continued growth and emotional, physical, and spiritual healing.