New Health Plan, Life at Mom's, More Spiritual Lessons

Fun card from my friend Jocelyn, my friends have been WONDERFUL!!

I've been home, and when I say home, I mean my Mom's house, from the hospital for almost two weeks now. It's been an interesting transition because a) I'm not in my own home b) I haven't lived with another person in a decade c) It's been longer than that since I've lived with my Mom d) We've had Home Health Care people (nurses, physical therapist, occupational therapist, etc) in and out all week e) and my biggest accomplishment was I learned how to shower myself again (which I'm proud of).

My book stash

All in all, stressful, but BRILLIANT at the same time. Today is my 31st birthday and I'm so grateful for all the lessons I've learned this past year. I've been in the hospital three times; I spent the best weekend of my life at Kripalu with my mentor Gabrielle Bernstein and met my Spirit Junkie Sisters, who have supported me all the way. I also had the worst vacation of my life with my Spring trip to Oregon; dropped out of a Vipassana meditation retreat, got rained on at the beach, and lost in Portland. Visited the Harry Potter theme park, yipee! I suddenly have a new family; soon to be step Mom, 5 grown "brothers and sisters" and 2 young ones, and numerous uncles, aunts, etc. My Dad is happier than I've ever seen him. My cancer is dissolving and recent events provided me with a new Soul Sister. Overall, I am grateful and looking forward to homemade manicotti and some delicious chocolate cake concoction from  Eden Alley. I also hope to venture out once or twice this weekend; one to spent a lovey Sunday afternoon at a local ice cream parlour, Murray's with my new family. 

Delicious green smoothie, I call it the Kindness Smoothie (spinach, mint, cacao nibs, bee pollen, honey, banana, and a probiotic)

Having my Mom as a caretaker, I have a pretty dedicated health plan, which already is working. My blood pressure, which has been low for several months, is now normal. I can already do many things for myself that shock the physical/occupational therapists. One of the things on my list, CoQ10 has a testimonial from a guy who had an infraction rate (it's how much blood your heart is pumping through your veins) of 22% (mine is 20% and normal is 55-75%) and in six months went up to 50%! There are also similar stories of people doing this with something call Limu Juice, which has a special seaweed. In orange juice, it's not bad. I'm doing both, plus Hawthorn Berry for my heart. 

Written in a card by one of my Spirit Junkie Sisters

We've also started QiGong exercises, a Chinese technique that moves the Chi and has healed millions for the last thousand years or so. Very simple, slow exercises. I also have arm exercises to build up my strength and muscle and will be starting a simple yoga in the next week. I am also doing a healing technique called the Healing codes, which is similar to EFT in some ways, but more about shifting energy. I do it in combination to the Violet Flame, a healing prayer/meditation. 

Re-reading Spirit Junkie for the Wild Sisterhood book club

I'm excited to be healing, and look forward to having a fantastic birthday, and incredible summer at Kripalu. I also have done some writing, and have three pieces coming out in three different publications over the next month!! I will post more details when I have them. 

Also, don't forget I have two other blogs, Radical Self Love and Enlightened by Books. 

Gratitude and Love,

Shanna

10 Day Lifestyle Cleanse: Day 1

Last night I cried tears of Gratitude all evening. Tuesday has been the most blessed day. I work up at 5am, which at first I thought was crazy, until I remember I went to bed at 9pm, so still 8 hours. I spent time working on some blog kinks, and in checking my email saw Danielle LaPorte's fire sale. She's retiring her Spark Kit, with the new release of her book the Firestarter sessions coming out this Spring. The Spark Kit is a life/finance/branding/inspiration that is over 200+ pages, with hours of video and audio and much more. It's normally $150. Her fire sale meant that if you pre-ordered the new book, you could do a love donation for the Spark kit. Well, you could only pay through Paypal, and when I checked my balance I had $6.88 in it. I took a pause and said, what the heck? I paid $5 for this amazing program.

Shortly thereafter I received requests, RECEIVED, as in they contacted me(!) from two publishers asking me to review something. One I emailed with a quick response of YES! We then emailed back and forth for the next hour. She emailed me wanting to know if I wanted to review more books. Um, yes. So she sent me the review list of upcoming titles, and she's from fucking TOR books! For those not familiar, TOR is one of the top publishing companies, known for their sci-fi/fantasy books. Obviously they publish other things because the book she contacted me about is historical fiction. Anyway, looked at the titles picked six and she said "great!". Yes, I'm basically getting 7 free books, plus I'm now on a list so whenever they update, I'll get to pick more. The other email I haven't responded to yet, but yet another free book, plus the opportunity to review more. So blessed!

All through the day I kept getting emails for these free programs, 30 Day Reinvention, some relationship program, and a few free workbooks. I signed up for all of it and now have tons of inspiration for 2012. The 30 day program suggested getting a buddy, so through the Facebook page I met a wonderful gal whose I spend quite a bit of time chatting with on Facebook. We will be keeping in touch daily to meet our goals.

So then I check my email and Gabrielle Bernstein had emailed me and comped her All Access Club, which I think was over $100 for a year. So you get free lectures, including this Friday's New Years lecture, videos, goodies, etc. I am so moved. So I sent her an email back about how much she has inspired me and contributed to my healing and next thing I know, she sends me an email and comps me for her summer Kripalu Loveatarian weekend workshop. I cried happy tears. I called both my parents, crying.

I just feel like everything is happening in such a beautiful way. I had my 24 hour creative push a few days ago, got some good sleep, and then the Universe sends me all this love. Tomorrow I plan on starting on some of those workbooks, creating my 2012 vision board, and really getting down with my cleanse.

So I may not have been perfect on Day 1. I ate well, in fact, this morning I made more almond milk, made pecan milk, walnut milk, chocolate walnut milk and....strawberry macadamia nut milk. I am loving my nut milk bag!

I finished my third book for 2012. My goal is 52; so far so good. I'll start another one tomorrow.

I will end my evening with prayer and visualization. Tomorrow I plan to start fresh with a new book at breakfast, MSM/lemon water, raw cereal, then brushing/flossing, coffee enema, skin brushing and shower. Then I'm going to get some stuff from Trader Joes and Whole Foods. I plan on getting Spiritual in the afternoon, might even break out the yoga mat. I'll be sure to meditate/pray/visualize again. So most of my list will get done, if not all.

Feeling so much love and gratitude

2012 Intentions

It's that time of year again and I've got some fantastic Intentions set. This week I plan on getting my new Vision Board together and putting together a schedule to keep me on track. I'm really excited about some of the things I have lined up and in continuing some of my Intentions from last year. This year will be about healing and growing. 

1. Make a Plan and Stick With It. I have a plan, and I keep making plans, but then somehow I never get them fully implemented. My goal is to focus on Green Smoothies, Enemas and my Supplements, and continue to add in other aspects of my plan as I create my schedule. This will be a year of healing. I also have some cleanses planned as well. 
2. Get Physical. This is something that I struggled with last year, mostly due to my heart. And while that is still an issue, I believe that I am at a point where gentle exercise can be added. I got a new yoga mat and DVD for Christmas, and so that's where I will start. 
3. Read, read, read. You may have noticed that I joined several reading challenges this year. I used to have a book attached to my hip; I read daily, at dinner, in the evening, doctor's office's, wherever I could. Last year my brain developed a bit of a fog, and I had a hard time focusing on reading. This has improved, and I've already read one book for 2012! My goal is at least 52, a book a week, and the reading challenges will keep me motivated and give me variety. 
4. Write Daily. I will schedule daily writing sessions, whether it's working on my book, my blog, etc. I will write for at least 2 hours daily. 
5. Publish My First Book. I have 100,000 words ready to be edited and turned into a fabulous book on the early years through 2011 of my healing journey. I have purchased a great program to help me in this endevour and fully intend to have a book deal by year's end. 
6. Grow my Blog. By year's end I intend to have over 250 followers, at least 100 on Facebook, steady traffic, etc. You can help me with this by becoming a follower, retweeting posts, liking posts on Facebook and joining my Facebook community. 
7. Meditation and Visualization. These two tools are so important in healing the mind and the body. I have done visualization exercises that have shrunk tumors and healed wounds on my body. There is no excuse not to continue to do this. Meditation is a great tool for creating balance and peace. 
8. Spiritual Growth. I wish to continue on my Spirit Junkie path; I will be re-reading Gabby Bernstein's book, posting about it, and completing the exercises. I also plan on diving into a Course of Miracles, and have already discovered a weekly study group and online social network. I will incorporate prayer into my life and learn to "let go and let God". We are Spiritual beings living in a physical body, and it's time I gave some love to my ~ing. 
9. Travel. My health prevents me from doing anything too wild, but I do still want to travel. One of my 31 Things is to have a Missouri weekend, and I intend to make that happen. I also will do some weekend trips to Columbia to visit friends and am looking into possibly going out to North Carolina and spending time with my grandparents. As I heal, I will expand my possibilities. 
10. Friendships. I really want to focus on developing the friendships I have, and growing new ones. It seems like each year I have people come and go, and so working on those relationships and continuing to put myself out there and create new ones is so important. My friends are what got me through my health battle this past summer, and I want to make sure I keep them!
11. Give up TV. My Time Warner account renews in May, and I'm seriously thinking of giving up  TV.  I only have 5 shows that I watch, 2 of which are ending this season. Anything worth watching I can either Netflix at some point or watch online. I find that TV is just a distraction and I really don't care anymore. There is so much more out there, and why spend $60 on cable per month when I can increase my Netflix and spend $10 or less. 
12. Learn to Knit. This has been on my 31 Things for awhile, and I actually took a class and never got a project started. So something at the first of the year I'm going to either retake the class or simply go to this wonderful local knitting store and get some help. I found an extremely simple scarf pattern for an easy first project, and intend to grow as a knitter. There is also a weekly Meetup group for young knitters, and I think it would simply be a great hobby. 

So there you go. What will your 2012 Intentions be? 

Health Update

I cannot express how grateful I am to be home from the hospital. It's a beautiful thing to be in your own space. I've had some amazing helpers bring me food, play with Triton, and just send the most loving notes. My Mom has been incredible, even when I get cranky with her, keeping things clean, taking me places, etc. So how am I doing? Here are a few little tidbits:

• I did gain 7lbs in this last week since leaving the hospital, so we up'd my meds and I've started to lose that again. I can definitely tell it's working. Don't fret if we go out and I disappear for awhile; I didn't get lost in the bathroom, I'm just peeing like the Energizer Bunny....it just keeps going and going and going....
• The tumors in my armpits appear to be smaller, so yipee for that!
• I went to Trader Joes on my own today; drove myself, parked, walked the entire store on my own, carries the bags to my car, into the house, and unloaded all on my own. This is HUGE. I NEVER would have been able to do that a week ago. I'm getting stronger, walking better and have more energy
• I'm still sleeping bizarrely.  I sleep in the late afternoon/evening, then get up, and sometimes am up for hours in the night, and then sleep some more. I think I'm still screwed up from being in the hospital.
• I've been going visualization exercises to get my body to function properly. I already know this helped dissipate the tumor in m lung pressing on my trachea because I haven't felt it in months. I have no doubt I can use this to heal the rest of my body.
• I am going three times a week to do the MOPA machine, which sends electronic pulses through your body, killing microbes, which then kills cancer cells. I'm going to say this is contributing to my improved health. 
• My Cancer Protocols have changed some. I dropped the Budwig Diet, am focusing on the Cellect and working on creative ways to eat it. We just started doing some juicing, I'm doing the B17 (cancer killing vitamin) and several supplements for the heart including Niacin. 
• I haven't been doing the Vibe machine because stairs are still an issue, but we are looking to move it and that should help. I heard a few stories recently of people who shrank tumors within weeks by doing this, so I'm getting on it!
• Overall I am improving and looking forward to going to the Harry Potter theme park at the end of October! I KNOW I will be healed to the point that I will be able to fully appreciate the experience. 

I want to take a moment to address something. I received an email (which I will respond to soon!) that suggested I had made a mistake going holistic and that I needed to give it up and go for the chemo to save myself. While I appreciate that this person is concerned for my welfare, I still believe that using chemicals to "heal" is a poor idea. I choose to address this because I think that she is not alone in wondering why I don't just do chemo. A few things a) At this particular moment my heart is not strong enough for treatment, we'd need to wait to build it up b) I have never been told that I could be "cured" by chemo, that is it a life extension, and likely cancer would return and I would have to go through this process, maybe several times c) I've seen what it does to people, and I'm not a fan d) My main issue with western medicine is that the doctors don't encourage you to make any life changes when diagnosed with cancer, in fact, they spend a lot of time making sure nothing has to change. Cancer came for a reason, and by not changing any aspect of my life, even if the chemo eliminate the tumors, there is a reason people always get them back. By doing things holistically I'm not only protecting my body long term from chemicals and not experiencing the harsh side effects of the drugs, but if forces me to change my lifestyle. I've had to improve my diet, face my fears, get in touch with my emotions, and I've learned how to be happy and am on the way to becoming truly joyful. I do not believe this would have happened if I had chosen the other path. For those concerned about stats, just because you don't hear about people healing themselves naturally, doesn't mean they aren't doing it. Big Pharma spends a lot of time shutting people up, many doctors who heal patients with natural medicines have to move to Europe or Mexico. I personally know people who have healed themselves, and follow blogs of several who have either a) completely healed or b) are healing from natural remedies. People are often talked into treatments out of fear, and I've always stuck to my beliefs. I appreciate any concern that certain community members may have, but know this, I WILL heal my body, and when I do I will truly be healed. No damaged nerves from chemo, no fretting over when things will return and if I'll survive the next round of treatment. I will be healthy and happy and well balanced and better off than I started. And this, is why I've chosen to go holistic. Feel free to email me if you wish to discuss this further. 

I'll wrap this with a little Love and Gratitude:

• I've been loving listening to holiday music this week, especially the fun songs like Rocking Around the Christmas Tree and Jingle Bells and also loving some of the rarer songs such as Carol of the Bells
• Conveniently Natural has delicious vegan food, home delivered, and I've enjoyed it thoroughly this week. Gratitude to Andrea for bringing me some and to the owners for dropping off some free samples. What a beautiful community we belong to!
• Trader Joes quiche is delicous!
• I am grateful for the comfort of my water bed, love it, always
• Gabby Bernstein's new book Spirit Junkie comes out in two weeks! Plus, Tori Amos has a new album out the next week AND I have a gift certificate for Best Buy from my Birthday, so freebie for me!
• I am grateful for the nicer weather and opportunity to chill on my back porch, watching Triton play in his pool, and chase squirrels in the yard
• She & Him are releasing a Christmas Album this year; I think I'm in geek heaven
• On Thursday's blog you'll see my pics for Fall TV; there is a TV show based on fairytales. So excited for that one. 
• I love sleeping with stuffed animals. I'll be sleeping with them when I'm married. They make me feel good. 
• Did I mention HARRY POTTER THEME PARK IN OCTOBER!!! Yeah, just a tad bit excited
• The symphony is doing Pops in the Park this weekend. Anyone want to go crazy early and get a close parking spot, have a picnic, chit chat and listen to some kickass music from Star Wars and Pirates of the Carribean? So much fun!
• Love naps, so refreshing.
• I am grateful for my parents and everything they do to support me. Love you Mom and Dad

Love and Gratitude,

Shanna

Spirit Junkie Playlist

One of the things on my list to increase my Spirituality and bring joy into my life is to create inspirational and moving music mixes. This is my first one I did last night.

1. Kaleidoscope Heart--Sarah Bareilles
2. Dear God--Sarah McLachlan
3. Living Proof--Cat Power
4. Not a Pretty Girl--Ani DiFranco
5. Let Go--Frou Frou
6. Angels Collide--Amy Correia
7. I Love Myself Today--Bif Naked
8. Get Your Shit Together--Beth Hart
9. Something Like a Hero--Charlotte Martin
10. Man of Golden Words--Mother Love Bone
11. Giddy On Up--Laura Bell Bundy
12. Like a Prayer--Madonna
13. Joyful Girl--Ani DiFranco
14. I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor Cover)--Cake
15. I Am Not a Robot--Marina and the Diamonds
16. Defying Gravity--Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenowith (Wicked)
17. Everything--Lifehouse
18. Don't Rain on My Parade--Barbara Streisand (Funny Girl)
19. Calling the Maker--Aimee Allen
20. Prayer of St. Francis--Sarah McLachlan

 Enjoy! What's on your Spirit Junkie playlist?