Guest Post: Rhonda of Awakening Wellness on Activating Your Joy Center

Today's guest is also my wonderful mother. Today she is going to share how to activate the joy center in our lives. Check it out, and don't forget to comment and let us know how you do!


The last few weeks have been tumultuous ones for me as I have been in the midst of a family crisis. In addition I know of several other families that are having their own personal crisis. I believe that the energies that are increasing almost daily now, are bringing the past into the present to be dealt with once and for all.  This could easily turn any situation into a crisis as events we have pushed down into a dark corner are coming out into the light where we can no longer avoid them. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself faced with problems from an unresolved relationship, or the emotional cause of a health issue, or any other fear and unpleasantness you thought you had left behind you. The time has come to stand up to your fears, stare them in the face and announce You No Longer Have Any Power Over Me! Fear like most bullies, will retreat once you stand up to it. Even if everything is wonderful in your life right now (and I sincerely hope it is) most of us can’t help but be effected by all the increasing chaos going on in the world. The vibration of fear is very strong right now and all this fear is making people angry. What we need is to find and anchor in our inner Joy and share the vibration of joy NOT anger with the world. I recently heard through a channeled message of a simple exercise for activating the Joy Center in the brain, and now I am passing that message on to you.
Activate your center of joy…

*First release any guilt about feeling joyful when the world is in chaos (sadness and anger worsens the condition-Joy shifts it for the better)
*Ask for help from your angels, your guides, and your soul.
*Acknowledge the ‘center of joy’ there is an actual, physical Joy spot located close to the center of the brain about 2/3 of the way back from the forehead.
*Imagine flooding your brain with the exhilarating energy of lemon yellow light.
*Allow the yellow light to tickle all your joy receptors. Imagine the light goes like a magnet straight to your joy center (whether you know exactly where it is or not- the light knows!)
*Allow yourself to breathe freely and deeply as you imagine this lemon yellow light Absorbing, Amplifying and then Broadcasting Joy through out your Whole Being.

If you haven’t felt joy in a while, it may take a bit of practice and continued effort to get your joy flowing. Say out loud…I allow joy! I deserve joy! I am joyful!

As you focus on feeling joyful, your vibration will be sending out a crystal clear message that will attract more joy into your life.

Whenever fearful situations come up remember that the vibrations of joy and fear cannot exist at the same time so you have a choice, continue to focus on the fear and bring more fearful situations to you, or focus on joy and attract more joyful things…
Fear or Joy, the choice is yours. 

Rhonda Sandmoen an energy healer in the Kansas City, MO metropolitan area, offers the Oneness Blessing, EFT sessions, Reconnection sessions, and Intuitive Vibrational Therapy sessions that are personalized with a blend of vibrational energies (Fifth Dimensional Healing, Tuning Fork Sound Therapy, Reiki and more) that bring you relief from stress, pain, fatigue, and illness, and facilitate your highest healing. She also offers distance sessions for you and your pets! Go to her website Awakening Wellness to schedule an appointment or sign up for one of her classes.

Take Ownership of Your Happiness

Recently I've been reading a lovely book by Marci Shimoff called Happy for No Reason. This wonderful book provides tools for happiness and highlights stories of people who are simply happy. She shows us that circumstance has relatively little to do with our state of being, it's our perception that determines our level of happiness. In Chapter 3, The Foundation--Take Ownership of Your Happiness, Shimoff provides three habits that allow us to experience happiness.

1. Focus on the Solution.  How often is it that a problem arises and we spend hours, days, weeks even, agonizing over how horrible it is, why me, I can't believe this is happening, etc.  What would happen if instead, we used all that energy to create a solution? Wouldn't that make us feel better and reduce the number of hours wallowing in negativity. It's easy to get lost in our perception of "what is" but being stuck in the problem only causes misery and in the end we dig a deeper hole for ourselves. When facing a problem, face it. Allow yourself a few minutes of misery, than take a deep breath, and focus on the solution. You will feel better, plus, chances are, problem solved with will make you feel even better!

2. Look for the Lesson and the Gift.  How often do we assign blame to a situation? My dog ate my homework, traffic was terrible, he doesn't like me, I tried my best but she wouldn't listen, it's all her fault, blah de blah blah blah. Recognize your own responsibility in the matter. Think about what you could learn from the situation and in some cases, it may even be a gift. One of the stories in Shimoff's book involves a woman who's fiancee ended their engagement just three weeks before the wedding. She spent a year wallowing in grief, blaming him for being a jerk, and playing the victim. One day her therapist said to her "If your relationship was so perfect, why is it over?" Sometimes we see only what we want to see, and in reality, her relationship had flaws that she simply did not want to face or take responsibility for, so she focused on the blame. After coming to terms with this, she focused on taking responsibility for her own actions, and ended up in a much healthier relationship. There are lessons everywhere, we just have to look.

3. Make Peace With Yourself.  Taking responsibility does not beating yourself up. There is no happiness to be find there. Simply, recognize areas that may need work, forgive yourself for your errors, and be grateful for the positives. Let it go and be at peace with your decisions. We all make mistakes, but you can choose to forgive and see each trial as a lesson.

I highly recommend investing in this wonderful book.  You can also download some of the exercises and happiness stories here.

Peace, Love and Happiness

I hear a lot of people talk about their concerns regarding the state of the world today. Everyday there are news reports on the oil spill, global warming, the war in Iraq, the economy, unemployment, tornado's, kidnapping, murder, etc. It's depressing and gives one a feeling of helplessness and despair.  I don't know about you but fear does not lead to peace, love and happiness in me. Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Meaning, it all starts with you. If you want t world filled with love, peace and happiness, you need to become a beacon of those traits.  Sound impossible? Here are a few tips:

1. Go on a Media Diet
Turn off the news, avoid cnn.com like the plague, change the radio to a peppy FM station, and eliminate the world's drama from your life. The Law of Attraction states that what you put your focus on, you create. In other words, whatever you are thinking about you will attract.  Instead of focusing on the problem, envision the solution.  For example, stop discussing how poor the economy is, and put your focus on abundance. The more people focusing on abundance, rather than lack, the better the world will be.

2. Be Grateful
Gratitude is a powerful tool for change.  Make a habit of coming up with at least 5 things each day that you are grateful for.  Gratitude's can be anything from "I am grateful for my incredible hair day," to "I am grateful for the creation of butterflies", or my favorite, "I am grateful for the creation of sewer systems and the fact that I don't have to wade through shit as I stroll down the street.  I thank the inventors and those who work daily to maintain our sewer systems for this great gift." There are so many things to be grateful for, and by taking a few moments each day to acknowledge them you can shift your entire life perspective.

3. Be Kind
Start by being kind to yourself.  We send ourselves a lot of negative messages, "I'm not good enough", "I can't do that", "I'm too fat", etc.  Turn those thoughts into positives.  It can be very awkward at first, but a great tool is to tell yourself "I Love You" every time you look into a mirror.  After a few days this will get easier and you'll notice your negative thought patterns about yourself will start to shift.  It is also important to be kind to others.  Hold open doors, say thank you, donate old clothes and books, Pay it Forward, adopt a solider, donate blood; make an effort to perform an act of kindness daily.

4. Eliminate Gossip
"Gossip is black magic at its very worst because it is pure poison.  We learned how to gossip by agreement. When we were children, we heard the adults around us gossiping all the time, openly giving their opinions about other people. They even had opinions about people they didn't know. Emotional poison was transferred along with the opinions, and we learned this as the normal way to communicate."
--Don Miguel Ruiz

5. Forgiveness
This is extremely important and can also be one of the most difficult things for people to do.  Start by making a Forgiveness List of everyone you still hold resentment towards.  You might want to add your own name to this list.  For small issues, simply write a sentence starting with "I forgive" to release the issue. For larger issues sit down and write a letter to the person who hurt you (even if it's you).  Share your thoughts on the situation, and offer up your forgiveness.  Burn the letter and release to the universe.  Remember, forgiving someone doesn't not necessarily mean that you are stating what they did was ok.  I realize that it may seem impossible to forgive your rapist, but holding onto the anger only perpetuates your pain.  Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for moving on.  "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that line and get free." --Catherine Ponder

6. Express Your Love
Be Love in your actions, thoughts, and expression of self.  Express love often, whether through a kind act to someone you care about or by simply saying "I Love You" as often as possible.  Try this exercise.  For one day, say "I love you" to EVERYTHING.  "I love you tree", "I love you squirrel", "I love you sandwich", "I love you Mom", "I love you pinkie toe", etc.  There is no limit to love.

7. Give Compliments
Give genuine compliments whenever possible. Tell a stranger you love her shoes, let the lawn mowing boy know what a great job he did on your lawn, thank your post man for his prompt delivery of your mail everyday.  Last year I attended a conference on relationships called Kindred Spirits.  One gentleman shared with the group that he writes what he calls "Father's Day letters" every year to his Dad.  He shares with his Dad how special their relationship is, compliments him on his life, and includes encouragement.  What a wonderful gift!

8. Smile
Ever notice how people have a tendency to look away when passing a stranger on the street? Make a promise to yourself to smile at everyone you see instead.  Smile at yourself in the mirror every time you pass it.  Smile to yourself when you are sitting along. Psychologists did a study on people suffering from depression and discovered that patients who spent just 30 minutes each day smiling at themselves in the mirror recovered much faster than the average patient. So smile, and smile big often.  And if you are really feeling adventurous, LAUGH!

The Art of Extreme Self Care

Cheryl Richardson has written a fantastic, easy read, entitled "The Art of Extreme Self Care."  Many people in our society are stressed, overworked, feel under appreciated and resentful.  Are you a "yes" man/woman?  Is "no" a four letter word in your world?  Does giving make you feel like a good person, yet resentful when you don't feel properly acknowledged for all you do?  We all have experienced this phenomenon on one form or another.  Part of living a healthy, happy, balanced life is learning to put yourself first. Cheryl's book provides invaluable tools, teaching you over a twelve month period how to transform your life and practice the art of extreme self care. 

In the first chapter she discusses deprivation.  Readers are encouraged to really look inside themselves and ask "Where do I feel deprived?" "What do I need more of right now? Less of?" "What am I starving for?" and several other questions that encourages the reader to examine what is needed to start practicing self care.  Chapter two discusses the concept of Mirror Work, and encourages readers to say "I Love You" to themselves each time they pass a mirror.  I touched on this subject in my June 21 blog entry: http://existingstricky.blogspot.com/2010/06/power-of-affirmations.html

The next few chapters teach readers how to say "no" with grace, creating balance, making a "no" list of things you absolutely will not do anymore, creating a "soul-loving" space, protecting your sensitivity, caring for your body, reawakening your hidden passions, and standing up for yourself.

Chapter Five definitely hit home with me and will appeal to fellow control freaks.  Have you ever watched someone help you out by performing a task, and had to hold back that "backseat driver" monster trying to claw its way out?  Then, after the person leaves, "fix" what they just did? Cheryl puts it this way, "Hi, I'm General Manager of the Universe, and you need to do this my way and in my time to keep me happy." When I first started working for my Dad, I was THE office person. As things got busier, more help was needed. It took me years, and several assistants, to finally learn to let go and let people do things in their own way and in their own time. As long as it gets done, does it really matter how? This was a really difficult lesson for me, but because I learned to let go, I started working 40 hours, rather than 60 per week, I held onto help for much longer and the work environment became more fun, and shockingly, more productive. Last fall I hired a wonderful woman to take over my position in the office, so I could focus on healing and writing. She's done a fantastic job, however, she has created many new systems and in some cases has a completely different approach to getting things done.  And you know what?  Things are running smoother than ever and I get to spend my days writing, talking to my tumors, waking Triton, making delicious vegan meals, and practicing my knitting.  I wouldn't be able to do all this if I hadn't learned to let go a bit.

The final chapter encourages readers to create an Extreme Self Care kit, essentially a toolbox that can be pulled out in moments of crisis.  All in all, this is a wonderful book, filled with great tips and inspiration.  I highly recommend it.

Existing's Tricky

"existing's tricky: but to live's a gift" This quote by poet e e cummings epitomizes my comprehension of life as I know it. I spent a good part of my youth existing, day in, day out, merely a shelf of a human being. I registered zilch on the emotional spectrum and actually spent several years in my early twenties cutting myself in an attempt to feel anything at all. Then came cancer, an answer to my prayers, or so I thought. A guilt-free way out of my existence. Seeing the fear and pain in my normally happy-go-lucky father made me reconsider this thing we call life. Could I truly grab life by the hand and really live? The answer to that question took five years for me to process.

I refused the standard chemotherapy and radiation treatments recommended by my oncologist and dedicated myself to healing physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually through natural means. I experimented with a 100% raw vegan diet, meditated, learned EFT, colonics, read books on healing, etc. I knew that I did not want to merely exist in this world, I needed to learn to truly live or I would simply "let go" of this life.

A year ago I had to make a decision, life or die. My body started shutting down, the cancer had infiltrated several of my organs and spread throughout my lymphatic system. the time had come to LIVE. I took time off from work (I am so blessed that my Dad is my boss!) and I've spent the past year experiencing life anad exploring what it means to live.

Now I work part-time and am determined to continue the next phase of my life journey. Through this blog I hope to gain the focus I need to start my own Happiness Project, heal my cancer, be the best doggie mommy I can be, and write my first novel. I am grateful for each day and know that "existing's tricky: but to live's a gift." Namaste