Peace, Love and Happiness

I hear a lot of people talk about their concerns regarding the state of the world today. Everyday there are news reports on the oil spill, global warming, the war in Iraq, the economy, unemployment, tornado's, kidnapping, murder, etc. It's depressing and gives one a feeling of helplessness and despair.  I don't know about you but fear does not lead to peace, love and happiness in me. Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Meaning, it all starts with you. If you want t world filled with love, peace and happiness, you need to become a beacon of those traits.  Sound impossible? Here are a few tips:

1. Go on a Media Diet
Turn off the news, avoid cnn.com like the plague, change the radio to a peppy FM station, and eliminate the world's drama from your life. The Law of Attraction states that what you put your focus on, you create. In other words, whatever you are thinking about you will attract.  Instead of focusing on the problem, envision the solution.  For example, stop discussing how poor the economy is, and put your focus on abundance. The more people focusing on abundance, rather than lack, the better the world will be.

2. Be Grateful
Gratitude is a powerful tool for change.  Make a habit of coming up with at least 5 things each day that you are grateful for.  Gratitude's can be anything from "I am grateful for my incredible hair day," to "I am grateful for the creation of butterflies", or my favorite, "I am grateful for the creation of sewer systems and the fact that I don't have to wade through shit as I stroll down the street.  I thank the inventors and those who work daily to maintain our sewer systems for this great gift." There are so many things to be grateful for, and by taking a few moments each day to acknowledge them you can shift your entire life perspective.

3. Be Kind
Start by being kind to yourself.  We send ourselves a lot of negative messages, "I'm not good enough", "I can't do that", "I'm too fat", etc.  Turn those thoughts into positives.  It can be very awkward at first, but a great tool is to tell yourself "I Love You" every time you look into a mirror.  After a few days this will get easier and you'll notice your negative thought patterns about yourself will start to shift.  It is also important to be kind to others.  Hold open doors, say thank you, donate old clothes and books, Pay it Forward, adopt a solider, donate blood; make an effort to perform an act of kindness daily.

4. Eliminate Gossip
"Gossip is black magic at its very worst because it is pure poison.  We learned how to gossip by agreement. When we were children, we heard the adults around us gossiping all the time, openly giving their opinions about other people. They even had opinions about people they didn't know. Emotional poison was transferred along with the opinions, and we learned this as the normal way to communicate."
--Don Miguel Ruiz

5. Forgiveness
This is extremely important and can also be one of the most difficult things for people to do.  Start by making a Forgiveness List of everyone you still hold resentment towards.  You might want to add your own name to this list.  For small issues, simply write a sentence starting with "I forgive" to release the issue. For larger issues sit down and write a letter to the person who hurt you (even if it's you).  Share your thoughts on the situation, and offer up your forgiveness.  Burn the letter and release to the universe.  Remember, forgiving someone doesn't not necessarily mean that you are stating what they did was ok.  I realize that it may seem impossible to forgive your rapist, but holding onto the anger only perpetuates your pain.  Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for moving on.  "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that line and get free." --Catherine Ponder

6. Express Your Love
Be Love in your actions, thoughts, and expression of self.  Express love often, whether through a kind act to someone you care about or by simply saying "I Love You" as often as possible.  Try this exercise.  For one day, say "I love you" to EVERYTHING.  "I love you tree", "I love you squirrel", "I love you sandwich", "I love you Mom", "I love you pinkie toe", etc.  There is no limit to love.

7. Give Compliments
Give genuine compliments whenever possible. Tell a stranger you love her shoes, let the lawn mowing boy know what a great job he did on your lawn, thank your post man for his prompt delivery of your mail everyday.  Last year I attended a conference on relationships called Kindred Spirits.  One gentleman shared with the group that he writes what he calls "Father's Day letters" every year to his Dad.  He shares with his Dad how special their relationship is, compliments him on his life, and includes encouragement.  What a wonderful gift!

8. Smile
Ever notice how people have a tendency to look away when passing a stranger on the street? Make a promise to yourself to smile at everyone you see instead.  Smile at yourself in the mirror every time you pass it.  Smile to yourself when you are sitting along. Psychologists did a study on people suffering from depression and discovered that patients who spent just 30 minutes each day smiling at themselves in the mirror recovered much faster than the average patient. So smile, and smile big often.  And if you are really feeling adventurous, LAUGH!

The Art of Extreme Self Care

Cheryl Richardson has written a fantastic, easy read, entitled "The Art of Extreme Self Care."  Many people in our society are stressed, overworked, feel under appreciated and resentful.  Are you a "yes" man/woman?  Is "no" a four letter word in your world?  Does giving make you feel like a good person, yet resentful when you don't feel properly acknowledged for all you do?  We all have experienced this phenomenon on one form or another.  Part of living a healthy, happy, balanced life is learning to put yourself first. Cheryl's book provides invaluable tools, teaching you over a twelve month period how to transform your life and practice the art of extreme self care. 

In the first chapter she discusses deprivation.  Readers are encouraged to really look inside themselves and ask "Where do I feel deprived?" "What do I need more of right now? Less of?" "What am I starving for?" and several other questions that encourages the reader to examine what is needed to start practicing self care.  Chapter two discusses the concept of Mirror Work, and encourages readers to say "I Love You" to themselves each time they pass a mirror.  I touched on this subject in my June 21 blog entry: http://existingstricky.blogspot.com/2010/06/power-of-affirmations.html

The next few chapters teach readers how to say "no" with grace, creating balance, making a "no" list of things you absolutely will not do anymore, creating a "soul-loving" space, protecting your sensitivity, caring for your body, reawakening your hidden passions, and standing up for yourself.

Chapter Five definitely hit home with me and will appeal to fellow control freaks.  Have you ever watched someone help you out by performing a task, and had to hold back that "backseat driver" monster trying to claw its way out?  Then, after the person leaves, "fix" what they just did? Cheryl puts it this way, "Hi, I'm General Manager of the Universe, and you need to do this my way and in my time to keep me happy." When I first started working for my Dad, I was THE office person. As things got busier, more help was needed. It took me years, and several assistants, to finally learn to let go and let people do things in their own way and in their own time. As long as it gets done, does it really matter how? This was a really difficult lesson for me, but because I learned to let go, I started working 40 hours, rather than 60 per week, I held onto help for much longer and the work environment became more fun, and shockingly, more productive. Last fall I hired a wonderful woman to take over my position in the office, so I could focus on healing and writing. She's done a fantastic job, however, she has created many new systems and in some cases has a completely different approach to getting things done.  And you know what?  Things are running smoother than ever and I get to spend my days writing, talking to my tumors, waking Triton, making delicious vegan meals, and practicing my knitting.  I wouldn't be able to do all this if I hadn't learned to let go a bit.

The final chapter encourages readers to create an Extreme Self Care kit, essentially a toolbox that can be pulled out in moments of crisis.  All in all, this is a wonderful book, filled with great tips and inspiration.  I highly recommend it.

Energy Medicine

Recently I started seeing a local healer who uses the methods created by Donna Eden.  Donna is a very courageous and inspiring woman.  Born with a heart murmur and metabolic problems, she soon developed tuberculosis.  As a child she had severe hypoglycemia and allergies; by age 16 she suffered from Multiple Sclerosis.  At 27 she had a heart attack, suffered from asthma in her 30's, had a near fatal insect bite at age 33 and developed breast cancer at age 34.  More than one doctor told her to get her affairs in order.  Instead of giving up, Donna, who had been able to see energy her entire life, used her gift to understand how her body worked.  She started experimenting with various techniques and watched the effect these "exercises" had on her energy field.  She learned how to balance her chakras and meridians and eventually healed herself.  She's now in her late 60's, and tours the world sharing her healing techniques.

I've been doing her "Daily Energy Routine" for about three weeks now and have noticed a burst in energy.  It's a really simple routine that anyone can do.  The exercises in the routine are designed to restore energy, strengthen the immune system, focus the mind, sharpen memory,expel toxic energies and protect the body from negative energies.  Here's a video of the daily routine:



Kim (my local healer) is also very intuitive and had some interesting reflections during my last visit.  She told me that she felt that in a past life I experienced a great love, one for the storybooks.  When my soul returned to experience this life, it eventually realized the other soul was not here.  The disappointment was such that my soul no longer wanted to continue life on this plane.  Isn't that interesting.  She also feels that my ying and yang are out of whack and I need to get down my my feminine self.  So, I've taken up knitting.  I'm definitely still a beginner, but just you wait, I'll be making sweaters and scarves in no time!

Kim's final message concerned the mother of all my tumors, I call her Faith (yes, I named my tumors), the original instigator, located in the left side of my neck.  This tumor is still stuck on the original programming; helping my soul exist this would.  She refuses to budge.  Kim feels that if I can eliminate Faith, the others will loose their enthusiasm and dissolve quickly.  This really resonated with me.  I've thought a lot about possible solutions.  One option is surgery, however, considering they refused to remove the tumor when I was originally diagnosed, whose to say they will do it now.  My second option is to really connect with Faith, spend time reassuring her that I no longer need her and it's ok to let go.  This may seem silly, but each cell in our body has it's own intelligence and prime directive and we are the master controller.  Many people have healed by communicating loving with their bodies.  There are some specific techniques, such as Soul Language, Ho'oponopono, gratitude exercises, mirror work and Reiki.  I plan on giving these methods a chance, for at least thirty days, and then decide whether or not to look into surgery.  I would prefer not to have to go that route, but will do as I must to heal. 

(Note:  I just looked in the mirror and tried to take a picture of the tumor, and it was TOO SMALL TO SHOW UP!!! It's definitely still pronounced, but much flatter than a few days ago!! I will continue sending healing and releasing thoughts and would appreciate any from my dear friends and readers. Thank you)

Healing With Energy Psychology

In my last entry I discussed how emotions play a large role in healing the body.  I discussed forgiveness, mirror work and affirmations.  There are many techniques for releasing trapped emotions and healing the body.  This new field of study is called Energy Psychology.  My Mom wrote a great lense on Squidoo on this very topic.  http://www.squidoo.com/energy-psychology  I personally have had great success with both Resonance Repatterning (formerly known as Holographic Repatterning) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).

Shortly after my cancer diagnosis I researched several energy psychology techniques.  I connected the strongest with Resonance Repatterning, a technique that essentially helps clear out subconscious patterns that interfere with your life.  I scheduled sessions with local Kansas City practitioner Bobbie Martin.   http://www.bobbiemartin.com/

During the my first session we discovered a pattern that attracted slimy, wannabe rapists my way.  Subconsciously I had decided that this kind of attention was all I could obtain and all that I deserved.  Because of this I was missing out on the opportunity to meet a nice guy.  I was 24 years old at the time, never been in a relationship, and had been molested, stalked, harassed, and assaulted repeatedly for the past twenty years.  After my first repatterning session, I went to Best Buy to purchase a CD and was approached by a very polite gentleman, who complimented me and gave me his telephone number.  No creepy comeons, inappropriate touching, didn't threaten to stalk or attack me, he simply smiled, gave me his information, and walked away.  I was ecstatic!! I'd never had such a wonderful and positive experience with a man before, and just one hour after being repatterned!  Three months later I entered into a relationship with a wonderful man that I had the opportunity to date for almost three years.  Amazing isn't it?  I highly recommend this technique; it changed my life.

EFT is another great technique.  The nice thing about this method is that you can do it at home, in the shower, the car, pretty much anywhere.  Essentially, you "tap" on certain acupressure points in order to release blocked emotions.  There are tons of videos to follow along to on many different topics on YouTube.  You can also check out some of these links for tips on EFT:

EFT for Allergy Relief: http://www.squidoo.com/eft-allergy-relief
EFT for Pets: http://www.squidoo.com/peteft
Empower Your Affirmations with EFT: http://www.squidoo.com/eft-affirmations
EFT for Stress-Free Holidays: http://www.squidoo.com/eft-holidaystress

The Power of Affirmations

After my cancer diagnosis I spent time researching people who healed themselves through natural methods.  Remarkably there are many stories of triumph out there.  Most started by healing the body physically, through proper diet, colonics, Essiac tea, acupuncture, yoga, etc. Detoxifying the body is a great step towards healing. I also noticed in a great deal of the stories, especially those in which the cancer never returned, people also focused on healing the mind. One such woman is Louise Hays, author of "You Can Heal Your Life."  She shares with readers her childhood story of sexual abuse and abandonment, which caused her to runaway and live on her own at age 15. Throughout the years, she eventually married, developed a career and had a pretty good life. However, mid-life she was diagnosed with a vaginal cancer. She chose to put surgery on hold and heal herself naturally. She focused not only on healing her body, but releasing emotional blockages that had created her cancer. Six months later she went in for a checkup and received a clean bill of health. So what did she do? In addition to good nutrition, colonics and foot reflexology, she spent a great deal of time in front of the mirror telling herself, "I love you."  She learned to forgive those in her past that hurt her and forgive herself. She repeated affirmations several times a day, reinforcing her desire to love herself, forgive and gratitude.

I admit that in my own healing, the emotional portion has been the most difficult.  As mentioned in my first blog, I suffered from depression, used cutting as an outlet, and from Kindergarten to my mid-20's had an onslaught on men who sexually harassed, stalked and assaulted me. Louise said, regarding her own situation, "Yes, I had a very difficult childhood with a lot of abuse--mental, physical and sexual.  But that was many years ago, and it was no excuse for the way I was treating myself now.  I was literally eating my body with cancer growth because I had not forgiven."

How powerful is that?  Does my cancer punish anyone but myself?  No, it doesn't.  Forgiveness is difficult, but one of the things I've learned is that forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean you are saying that what happened to you is okay, it simply means letting go and not letting that person or incident harm you or hold you back any longer.  A handy tool when working on forgiveness is to write a letter to the person that hurt you, then burn it. Release it into the air and say, "I forgive you."  I've done this exercise several times and it really does clear that negative energy out of your field.

Affirmations are also very powerful and can be used in many areas of your life.  Louise has a section in her book called "The List" where she breaks down 100's of diseases, describes the related emotion and gives you a positive affirmation to use to overcome said dis-ease.  For Cancer, the emotion is: "Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatred." The positive affirmation to heal this feeling is "I lovingly forgive and release all of the past.  I choose to fill my world with joy.  I love and approve of myself."  Under Hodgkin's Disease the emotion is: "Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough.  A frantic race to prove one's self until the blood has no substance left to support itself.  The joy of life is forgotten in the race for acceptance."  Whew!!! What a doozy, and I resonated strongly with this the first time I read it.  The positive affirmation is: "I am perfectly happy to be me.  I am good enough just as I am.  I love and approve of myself.  I am joy expressing and receiving."

I highly recommend forgiveness exercises, mirror work, and affirmations for everyone.  Why wait until you have a "terminal" disease to heal yourself and be happy?

Check out this link for more information on empowering your affirmations:

http://www.squidoo.com/eft-affirmations








 



 

Adopt a Soldier

"Imagine all the people, living life in peace" John Lennon

Freshman year of high school my Sociology class adopted a unit of soldiers.  We each had our own soldier that we sent letters, mixed CD's,etc. to throughout the school year.  A great experience and a lot of fun; I always enjoyed having penpals.  Recently I received an email from my soldier through MySpace. He's a family man now, finished with the army, and now twelve years later he still has my letters and picture.  He wrote me to let me know how much my letters meant to him during his year in Bosnia.  His time in the army was rough on him and my words of inspiration got him through. WOW!!

I am so touched that he took the time to contact me, and touched that my words could mean so much. I did a little research and discovered several soldier penpal programs. A few links:
http://www.adoptaussoldier.org/
http://soldiersangels.org/
http://adoptaplatoon.org/site/

The programs vary, most include an option to be a penpal to a specific soldier, but some include information on sending care packages, with items such as shampoo, soap, crackers, books, scarfs, etc.

I am a proponent of peace, however I believe in supporting people and regardless of my political beliefs, I am grateful to those that chose to serve. I have decided to adopt a soldier.  It doesn't take a lot of time, but can make a big difference in someones life. I am also interested in getting a care package together and would love it if anyone out there wants to contribute. Leave me a comment and we'll get started!

Namaste

My Toxic Mind

This past week I've been living in a fog, my brain functioning purely on a primitive level. Most days I sleep until mid afternoon, drag myself out of bed, zone out to Who's the Boss or Army Wives, and fall back asleep by midnight. It's been months since I've been so exhausted for such a long period of time.

My last post I mentioned doing a juice fast. I started it on Memorial Day and juiced consistently for about a day and a half, when my juicer bit the dust. I decided to convert to a smoothie fast to make it through the three days I had promised myself I would do. Man, what a crabby couple of days! Between the homicidal thoughts and hibernating like a grizzly bear, my days have not been filled with happiness and joy.

Last night after talking with my Mom I realized my error; I didn't use any aids to help with my detox. Let me explain. When doing any kind of detox program, you are essentially pushing toxins to the surface, attempting to flush them out. Often you are releasing more toxins than your body can push out without aid. That is why it is recommended to do things like bathe in Epsom salts, enemas, colonic, skin brushing, rebounder, massage, etc. to keep the toxins flowing while you are cleansing. I didn't do any of that, although I should have known better. I essentially flooded my body with buried toxins, and didn't help move them quickly enough, which caused massive fatigue and a major brain fart. I seem to be recovering, though I did order an enema kit last night. Next time I will definitely be more prepared.

By the way, if you are looking for a good summer read, check out "Beautiful Creatures" by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. Set in a small town in the south, this story is told from the perspective of 16 year old Ethan Wate. Ethan has been experiencing strange dreams featuring a mysterious girl, dreams so real that each morning when he wakes, his bed is filled with dirt and debris. Shortly thereafter, a new girl moves into town, bringing magic, mystery and adventure with her. The characters are strongly written, the history richly portrayed, and the magic very believable. Unique, intelligent and magical, I highly recommend it!